I'm finally back in Los Angeles for more than three days and am so happy to be able to escape the tundra of New York City and skip to the warmth and sunny skies. Today I went for a little jog before hitting up one of my favorite things to do on a late Sunday afternoon --- Bryan Kest's yoga class at Power Yoga in Santa Monica. This one, two combo felt so good. As I sucked in some fresh ocean air, felt the warm sun on my face and the sweat down my arms, I couldn't believe how lucky I was to be basking in 75* on a sunny day in the middle of January. I began to recall why I do love L.A. so much. This west coast trip is a much needed break from a lot that seems to be attached to NYC, although work will keep me plenty busy during my stay here. However, all the traveling back and forth this week, east to west, back east and back west again with a trip to Phoenix and finally L.A. last night, has wrecked havoc on my body. All the sitting on planes has locked up my hips and resulted in a distressed digestive system. Some mornings this week I would wake up not knowing where I was (a hotel? my own bed?), much less what time zone. While I, like everyone else, tried to maintain some sense of balance and nutritious diet during the holidays, it was definitely challenging. And I can't believe we're only one full week into the new year, as it's felt like a month. Not much time to get eating back on track and with all the traveling, forget it. I prepared as best I could. My first trip out, much to my seat mates dismay, I brought along some brown rice, steamed broccoli (probably the nastiest smelling vegetable you can bring on a plane. But hey. At least i was being healthy, dammit.) and white bean dip plus a small sweet potato. And of course some dark chocolate. But three days in L.A. with a free mini bar (POP CHIPS anyone?!?) in the hotel, no kitchen, eating on the run and one big dinner at Mastro's later, I was feeling like I was growing a small kangaroo pouch. Another flight back to NYC on Virgin and nothing really nutritious to speak of (unless you count all the free snacks I was chowing on. . . Stacy's Pita Chips which are as nutritionally void as a the 'apple' potato chips I opened up, but equally tasty. Hummus, some Almonds, dark chocolate, OY!), I was CRAVING GREENS. Something full of nutrients. But before I could say "spinach salad" I was back in JFK after a very brief stint on the Today Show Friday morning. And completely unarmed with any sort of arsenal to battle the airport food court. Ugh. I wish I was as prepared as the first trip days ago, but there was just no time. I arrived in Phoenix feeling bleh and bleh. There was no other way to describe it. I was tired, bloated, cranky and feeling downright nasty. And it didn't help when my friend commented on my 'pooch' he caught on camera while I was teaching, which he threatened to post on Facebook. Nice. With less than a week to go before being in front of the camera to shoot more workouts for Exercise TV. My self esteem was not ready for this.
I have already been feeling as if the pounds have been creeping on, which results in me trying to control every thing that goes in my mouth and subsequently, losing control and being hard on myself. I hate this vicious cycle, but with a shoot day coming up, it's hard to break. All I hear in my head are the comments of how great I looked in such and such a video and thinking to myself, "I'm not going to look the way the viewers expect me to look." or "I'm heavier than I was in such and such DVD." Or "Man, I look fat. So and so is so much thinner than I am in their workout DVD . . . mine won't do as well." It's sheer torture I tell you.
And then, somewhere in the middle our 50th downward dog and standing split pose, Bryan said something in yoga clas today that hit home for me. "The greatest disrespect you can show yourself is comparing your body to someone else's." Wow. By comparing myself to other fitness professionals and comparing myself to ME at another point in time, I was DISRESPECTING myself. I would never want to disrespect someone else, so why is it so easy to disrespect MYSELF? How can I compare? My body is totally unique and different. And, at that point, as I was standing with one leg in the air and hands along side my body, I thought my body is pretty amazing. I turned a corner. So what if I don't have the six pack abs? So what if I'm not RIPPED from head to toe? I am creative. I am healthy. And I am strong. I absolutely, no questions asked, must, must, MUST, show more respect for my body and its abilities or I am sure the universe, in a way that will not be pleasant, will MAKE me.
So you see, it comes down to a matter of RESPECT. Do you respect your body enough to feed it wholesome nourishing foods? Do you RESPECT your body enough to move it around and touch every part of it with breath and love? Do you RESPECT your body enough to rest it when it needs it? And do you RESPECT yourself enough to go easy on yourself, give yourself a break and enjoy your life? Let's free ourselves of the shackles of comparison, judgement and DISRESPECT we impose on ourselves.