Everything listed under: health

A dear friend and fellow yogi, Ben McLellan recently posted this comment on his Facebook page: This is astonishing to me.....we will take a drug that may cause internal bleeding, stroke, heart attack, and possibly death to sleep better. We won't practice yoga, chi gong, or tai chi because we don't have time, it's too expensive, or it's weird. Dumb is an understatement.
I share these sentiments and have become increasingly frustrated with the excuses people give that prevent them from embarking on a routine that will lead to greater health, healing and ultimately, happiness. Despite my sincerest efforts to be patient and accept that everyone is on their own unique path, so often I have the desire to call out “Bullshit!” in the middle of a sentence. Not exactly polite, I know.  
I think what pisses me off most is the lack of personal responsibility. (I'm obviously pretty fired up on this topic lately. Just ask some of my poor friends who have to listen to me.) If I had a quarter for the number of times I have heard the words “CAN’T” and “DON’T”, I wouldn't be writing my own blogs anymore (Just kidding! I'll always write my own stuff. Promise. )
“I CAN’T meditate. I CAN’T turn off my brain”. To which I’ll retort, “Who the fuck can?”
Or “I DON’T have the time.” Oh please. I know how much time I spend on Facebook. And I still manage to do a meditation practice.
Or my favorite “I CAN’T do yoga. I’m not flexible.”
AGHHHHH. Please. Just. Stop.
Be honest. With me. With yourself. We all have nothing but time. It’s up to you how you spend it. And where you spend it. I am FINE if you don’t WANT to do yoga, Tai Chi, meditate, lift weights or eat broccoli. That is your prerogative.
ABSOLUTELY, without a doubt, it is challenging to make these practices a habit. They require more effort, more work and more discipline. However, they also ultimately make you a healthier, happier, more productive, balanced and evolved human being. Ask the thousands of people who do such things. But please, stop with the excuses. You have choices. Take responsibility for those you continue to make, and realize you’re life is what it is today because of them. As Jean Paul Sarte so simply states: “You are your choices.”
Choose wisely. And stop telling me you ‘can’t’.

For a list of some of the most hysterical excuses some of my trainer friends have gotten, please read this. If you recognize yourself, you’ve been publically outed! http://espn.go.com/espnw/athletes-life/9104429/espnwtrainers-share-worst-excuses-national-athletic-training-month

While I haven’t taken many yoga classes in the past year, preferring to stay at home to cultivate a personal practice, I recently have returned to the group setting in my new hometown to get to know the community. Classes are the first place I’ll go to meet like-minded people when I land on unfamiliar territory. But it reminds me of why I often stay home.
The routine is the same. I begin by checking out some studios online and then look for instructors I think I may enjoy based on class descriptions and bios. Words such as ‘uplifting’, ‘intelligent flow,’ and ‘leaving students feeling centered and blissful’ often make their way into the picture. ‘All levels welcome’ is one I tend to see a lot as well.
However, what I typically experience is a rote reproduction of a vinyasa class with too many chattarangas for my taste and no clear purpose or aim. It seems like the latest generation of teachers are all reading from the same script. Yes, some have different jokes and others are slightly more entertaining, but rarely have I experienced a true ‘sattvic’ state at the end of the journey. Light. Clear. Steady and balanced.
The intention of this blog is not to blast every teacher I’ve come across nor to criticize every class I’ve taken. Because truth of the matter is there are a lot of good teachers out there.
However, it does seem like we are pumping out yoga teachers like BigMacs. It seems to have become the ‘job du jour’ as more and more people begin to dip their toes in the waters of yoga, creating an ocean of demand. Get laid off? Become a yoga teacher. Looking to balance your 9-5 job? Start teaching yoga on the side. Bored? Eh, may as well sign up for a 200 hour RYT.
And just like fast food, quality declines as mass production increases.
I’m all for learning the traditions, the ancient teachings, the intricate, detailed and sacred practices of an entire yoga system to help more people find joy and happiness in their lives. However, it seems like little more is being taught than where to put your foot in Warrior I and how to perform Ujjayi, if that. 
There are a couple of oft-repeated directions I hear to which I say “Huh?” Here are some my favorites.

1. “Lift your head/chin” or its stepsister “Look up”. I don’t have an issue with taking your gaze to the hands or in the ‘upward direction.’ However, most students interpret this into cranking their head back until their chin is in the vertical position, slightly resembling the unnatural range of motion of a Muppet. Unfortunately, this does not improve your backbend or get you any closer to divine spirit.
2. “Today we’re going to focus on ‘heart openers’”. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but no amount of arching your back or pushing your ribcage out while scrunching your shoulders into your ears is going to help you feel ‘more love.’ Backbends, when practiced properly are wonderful to move energy in an upward direction, however, it is through thoughtful application of the breath that we begin to see shifts in our actual mind and emotional states. The best way to ‘open your heart’? Meditation and surrender. Take your practice off the mat and into your daily life. 
3. I’ve witnessed many teachers tell students their breath should sound like ‘Darth Vader’ or ‘be audible to your fellow yogis’. Ummmmm, no thank you. I for one don’t want to hear your Star Wars like breathing. From "Krishnamacharya: His Life and Teachings" “To regulate the breath during the practice of asanas, the technique of ujjayi breathing is important. In ujjayi breathing you constrict your vocal cords slightly as you breathe so that you can feel the air as it flows past. A slight hissing sound often results—the more you constrict your throat and force your breath, the louder the sound. Conversely, the more finely you control your breath, the softer the sound. The goal is not to create a lot of sound but rather less sound. With practice and greater control, you should be able to breathe slowly and very smoothly. Then the sound will diminish and you can direct your attention to a more subtle indicator: the internal sensation of your breath flowing. Krishnamacharya used to give the standard instruction, ‘Feel rubbing sensation in throat.’” (PS: Thanks for posting this Ben! A perfect quote to support my point.)
4. “Take a deep inhale in . . . and now SIIIIGGGHHHH out the mouth.” I’ll admit, this used to be me. I would love to make indescribable sounds during class and feel as if it was some huge release. Now, the symphonic collection of “ohhhhhhsssss” and “aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhs” drives me nuts. The concept of releasing all that energy seems counterintuitive to one of the primary goals of yoga, at least in the Tantric tradition: to contain and concentrate prana (energy) and direct it for a desired energetic effect. I understand the aim is to encourage students to release and ‘let go’, but there are so many other intelligent techniques a teacher can utilize to achieve this end. Let’s start using them.

Conversely, much of my frustration comes from what teachers AREN’T teaching in their classes. Here are just a few:

1. How to breathe. Yes, often instructors will speak of the importance of the breath at the onset of class but never revisit the concept as students gasp, grunt and “Aggghh” in their attempts to get their leg higher or their face to their knees.  I hate to repeat what's been said so many times, but without the breath, it's not yoga. It's a stretch class. 
2. Often, when I read teachers’ bios, everyone seems to have studied with world renowned teachers and highly respected gurus. Yet, why are they not teaching to what I assume they’ve learned . . . The subtle body, the energetic body? Why aren't we giving students the space and time to sit in stillness after asanas (and not just savasana) to tune into the presence and feeling of energy shifts? And consequently, the results that ensue from a very predetermined, directed sequence of asanas? How the poses influence not only our body, but our minds and emotions. If we continue to gloss over this just because our students want a hot body, we are doing them a great disservice.
3. What I’ve been experiencing lately is a lack of clear direction or aim in classes. I recently attended one where the instructor said, with genuine surprise, “Wow. It seems like this is turning into a backbend practice!” Needless to say I raise an eyebrow (or two since I am not that skilled in the unibrow lift) when there is a lack of clear purpose for a class. You are taking students on a journey. Know the destination.
4. Meditation. Lest we forget the ultimate destination of our practice. To prepare us for meditation. So that we may sit, comfortably, our spine a clear channel of energy. If our teachers are not bringing us to a place of more ease, freedom and joy in our day to day lives, it seems that our efforts are not nearly as effective as they can and should be.

I hear words my teacher has reiterated over and over on a daily basis: “If it’s not changing your life, it’s not yoga.” Yoga is a powerful tool. Let’s start treating it as such.

Moderation. We’ve all heard the saying: “Everything in moderation.” If it were so easy, Mayor Bloomberg would not be initiating a ban on soda over the copious amount of 16oz. (Seriously? You need more than 54 grams of sugar in one serving? And people are resisting this. Unbelievable. I’ll have to save my rant for another day. This is not about the soda ban. Although this photo definitely speaks to my point.)
How often have you thought “ I’ll just have a little bite of cookie dough ice cream”? Right. Or “Maybe just TWO chips.” Uh-huh. There’s a reason Lay’s had an advertising campaign challenging people to “East Just One.” It’s friggin impossible.
We are a nation of excess. In everything. Food. Money. Things. We want it all and we want more of it.
It seems to be human nature. More and more I see people around me (and truthfully, I may not be an exception) exercising to excess. And Lord knows, all you have to do is walk by a Chili's or Cheesecake Factory to see that people are definitely eating in excess. I often write and speak about trying to find balance. So I decided to put together some tips to help you maintain portion control when eating without being neurotic and weighing your food. (Whoever came up with that idea should be hurt. Seriously? Isn’t it bad enough we weigh ourselves? We’re really going to weigh our food too?)
Some tips are very practical and easily to initiate. Others will require a little more mindfulness and ask you to slow down a bit. All require discipline.

Practical Tips:
1. Eat from a smaller, appetizer sized plate rather than a typical dinner size plate. This will keep your plate ‘full’ and prevent you from feeling like your portions are too small.
2. When eating ice cream or other frozen treat, before it gets TOO soft (I find when it’s that nice, soft and creamy texture I’ll just sit with the carton and scoop around the edges until – SURPRISE! – there are no more edges!) scoop out a small portion into a white wine glass or highball glass (just like wine, no need to fill the glass!) and then, for God’s sake, put the carton back in the freezer! It’s a pretty presentation and when you’re done, you’re done.
3. This one is more for single people (Can I get a “Woo-Hoo?!?!”) for making meals for a couple of people, or for those of you who cook in bulk. Once you’re done making the dish, place it in a leftover container right away. Then scoop out the portion you want and place the rest in fridge for another time. You’re less likely to keep going back to the pot for seconds, thirds, etc. when it’s already packed up and put away.
4. Put a slice of ginger on your tongue and suck. It's a wonderful digestive aid and anti bacterial agent. Meaning it will put that Altoid to shame. 
5. Brush your teeth. This is the oldest trick in the book. And it works. It signals the meal is over. Kaput. Finished. No one wants to have another helping of creamed spinach or a donut after a mouthful of mint. Blech.
6. Refuse to dine out with friends or significant others if they don’t like to share. (Unless it's a first date of course. If they make it to a second, you can lay down the law so they know what to expect in the future.)  Often, my friends and I will each order an appetizer (usually a salad or veggie based dish) and split an entrée we both like. We get a little of everything and end up completely satisfied. You may need to reconsider with whom you keep company if they refuse. 
7. Plan dessert. You heard me. Know at the end of the meal you'll have a piece of dark chocolate, a small scoop of ice cream (see tip #2), tea or some other little morsel of heaven you'll look forward to. And when you are done with your sweet thing, that meal is OFFICIALLY OVER. Never to be heard from again.
8. Outta sight, outta mind. Meaning if you really have no self control with a particular food (Terra Chips anyone?!?), keep it out of the house. Maybe twice a year indulgences are o.k. but if you truly feel as if none of the tips above (or below) will help you resist the urge of consuming all 6 servings in one sitting, simply stay away.  

Mindful Tips:
1. Take a moment before you dive in to close your eyes and offer gratitude for the plate in front of you. It doesn’t need to be a formal ‘grace’, but it’s nice to remember how blessed we are to have food on our table. Plus, this can be done anywhere (at a friend’s home, at a restaurant, etc.) without too much of a fuss.
2. Put your fork down in between bites.
3. Invite a friend over. (Again for us ‘Woo-Hoo!’ single people) I find my meals are much more enjoyable when I have someone with whom I can share them. Good conversation and laughter keeps you relaxed and helps you digest your food. You’re not just eating to get it over with. It’s more about the pleasurable experience of sharing and less about what you are eating. (See photo to right. My friend and ULTIMATE meal---and carrot cake---sharer! She's the best!)
4. Many people recommend having no distractions when you eat to keep your thoughts on what you’re doing, but if you do eat alone a lot, this can be quite frankly, BORING. I like to read a magazine (nothing too heavy!) or flip through catalogs that have stacked up on my entry bookshelf. It’s a nice time for imagination, inspiration, etc. And I also use it to help me with tip #2. It’s hard to flip and concentrate when you’re chewing. So I’ll put my fork down, flip a few pages, and then get back to the task at hand: Enjoying my delectable meal.
5. That being said, I wouldn’t make a habit out of eating with the TV on. Yes, I do it occasionally. (Maybe once or twice a week) but it’s not my routine. More than ever, TV is sensory overload. There’s nothing calming and relaxing about it. I actually find very little that’s enjoyable. And your meal should be enjoyed.
6. Breath. Sounds simple. But how often do you go through your meal holding your breath only to lean back in your chair when you've finally cleared everything off your plate like a Hoover, puff your tummy out and say something to the effect of “Ahhhhhhhhh . . .” as if to let it all go? Let’s not wait til the end of our meal to take some deep breaths. It will calm your nervous system and prevent you from stuffing your face as if it’s the last meal you will ever have. For most of us, it won’t be.
7. Plan for something enjoyable after dinner. Give yourself something to look forward to so you don't just hang around filling your time with food. A bubble bath. A movie you've been wanting to see. A nice walk. Trolling iTunes for new music (one of my personal faces) or get in bed early with a good book and some tea. 

Probably the most logical tip I can offer actually has to do with WHAT you eat. Eat REAL FOOD. Rarely do you see people walking around with an 8 pound bag of spinach or eating 15 carrots in one sitting. Processed foods are addictive and the only things that come in portions large enough to feed an army. When you tune in, listen to your body and feed it with nutrient dense foods, your cravings for offerings that come in Super Size will diminish. 
The only thing you should be drinking in a 32 oz BIG GULP is water. 

While the calendar says Fall is here, temperatures are still up to 80* here in the Big Apple and I still see people walking around with their mid afternoon pick me ups. As you have probably heard, such frothy tasty concoctions such as the grande mocha caramel whipped frappe something-or-other may as well be a fifth meal. And not a nutritious one. I especially love when the person ordering one of those says something like ‘Umm . . . hold chocolate shavings please.” Really? As if that’s going to salvage this drink from caffeine sugar bomb hell. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that you’re basically injecting an IV of sugar into your bloodstream. Why do you think it tastes so darn good?
Not to mention, if you saved up all the $$$ you spent on those drinks per year, you’d be looking at a fine pair of Louboutins. Or maybe a plane ticket to Mexico. Lying in the sun. And be able to save those calories for something that’s really worth it. Like a friggin pina colada.
Trust me, I love my coffee treats as much as the next person. (Most who know me are well aware my family is in the coffee business. There was coffee in my bottle before there was milk.) However, there are ways to slim down your favorite java drink, and your wallet at the same time.
Here are two of my favorite recipes that you can easily make at home or in your office.

You’ll need to buy a shot or two of decaf espresso (try it. even decaf will provide a little pick me up) Or, if you must have the crack, try cutting it in ½ and order one regular and one decaf shot. Yes, you’ll be that pain in the ass person in line but join the club. I’m president. It keeps me healthy and that’s more important than worrying that I’m annoying the teenager behind the counter or the suit behind me. You know what annoys me? The idiot standing outside the coffee shop blowing toxic smoke in my face, but I can’t do anything about that can I? I rather be the annoying person ordering the ½ caf or getting quizzical looks from people when I order decaf espresso as if to say “Why bother?” than be that annoying person killing themselves and others with toxic waste.

Better yet, if your office has one of those fancy Nespresso espresso makers, use theirs. Really stick it to the man. Again, saves $ and time. Time which could be well spent sitting outside or online shopping.

So now you have your coffee. Step 2. You’ll need to keep your own milk in the refrigerator if you work from an office. And here’s where you can really cut down on the sugar. Most coffee joints will use the sweetened version of non dairy milk like vanilla soy or add their version of McDonald’s special sauce: liquid sugar. I keep unsweetened almond milk in my fridge at all times.

For a creamy Iced Vanilla Latte simply use Vanilla Unsweetened Almond Milk (or soy if you’re a fan, although I would encourage the former), a couple drops of Vanilla Liquid Stevia (my favorite is the NuNaturals brand as it is the purest form of stevia and they don't add any alcohol. they also have an abundance of other flavors! mint anyone?) and my secret weapon, a drop of quality vanilla extract. Pour over ice with your espresso, shake it up to get it nice and frothy and voila! Creamy Vanilla treat. You can do the same with different flavored extracts. (Try hazelnut, mint, or even caramel!) The sweetness will come from the stevia (you can also try the plain) and since it’s liquid you don’t have to bother with trying to get that annoying powder to dissolve. It’s a little more expensive than the blue, pink and yellow packets, but my health (and yours gosh darnit!) is worth it. And a little of the liquid goes a LOOOOONG way.

Now if you are really jonesing for that frothy blended whipped up concoction click here to try my Cold Cocoa recipe. If you want to add coffee, try using decaf again, but add some raw cacao nibs which will provide a nice pick me up.

I understand part of the deal with these drinks is the ‘experience of the coffee bar.’ So here’s what to do. Buy yourself one of those cool to go tumblers and make your cheaper, healthier drink in the office. Then go and sit wherever the heck you like. If it’s the ‘getting out of the office’ idea, sit in a park, on a bench, or take a walk with your new favorite coffee beverage. You'll be exercising your right to not fork over your entire paycheck to the 'Evil Empire' as well as your body. 

so often you hear me talk about how to be kind to yourself. how to take care of yourself. treat yourself. be a good friend to you. mostly because it's something i don't often do and telling you so reminds me to practice what i preach. however, every once and a while, a true friend will give you a swift kick in the ass when you need it. a jump start. a tough love talk. and it's about time i be that kind of friend to myself.
admittedly, i've been, mentally, hard on myself lately. my body is just NOT where it was a year ago and i'm kind of at a loss. i hate that i'm so caught up on it, but i am. there. it's out there. i am trying to get older with grace and acceptance. (WHAT?!??!!! you mean i'm NOT 30 anymore? since WHEN?!?!? Hmph.) but as you have heard me talk about so many times, it's my achilles heel. more often than not, i get caught up in the physical. and quite frankly i'm sick of it. the way i see it, i have two options. one, learn to let it go and see the truth of my beauty and love beyond this body. luckily through yoga, mediation and all i'm learning with my teacher, it really IS becoming clearer that i am so much more than my physical body. thank goodness. but this takes time. and i am definitely more of an 'i want it now' kind of woman. so i've resorted to the things i can affect immediately. discipline myself. i used to be so good at this. too good. then i realized i was definitely too hard on myself, so i eased up.
between you and me, i now feel like a slacker. i've been unmotivated to do much and there is SO much i COULD be doing. my business could/should be thriving. i've been wanting to do more online videos, etc. but you know what's been stopping me? i don't feel like i LOOK good enough to be on camera right now. i'm trying to call myself out on this bullshit. i'm strong. i'm fit. i'm HUMAN for crying out loud, and i'm NOT nor will i ever be Giselle. but it is this constant hang up that holds me back. and i can't wait any longer to get over this crap. again, i will eventually, but it's taking too long. on to option 2: DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
so when i say i'm going to clean up my eating and try to get down to the heart of this continuous 'bloat' i seem to be wearing, then having some of Magnolia's famous banana pudding before i hit the cardio machines doesn't cut it. i don't care if it was just two bites. (by the way if you've never had it, it truly is life changing. definitely makes my 'last meal' list. and i don't even really like banana pudding) have some will power girl!!!! because every little 'indiscretion' sets me back to square one. and that will continue to happen until nothing happens. zip. zilch. i've said this before too (or something like it) : change is effort. and of course my favorite, the definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. yes, i have changed a lot in the past year to help me move in the direction i want. but it's not enough anymore. i need to put a little more UMPH behind it. i let go of my disbelief that i have to do cardio for thirty minutes today and i let my friend and A list trainer, Jeff Halevy, create a workout for me. did i bitch about it? absolutely. i have to admit . . . i even GRUNTED. and i HATE when dudes do that in the gym. he had me on a circuit for 40 minutes. i'm sure he chuckled as i spat out curses his way. i did things i normally never touch . . . kettle bells (still don't love em), push ups (blech), and ropes (just never had the space). but can i tell you how GREAT i feel now? how accomplished? with Jeff's help, i pushed myself out of my comfort zone. and while the workout was great, really, THAT is what it's all about. i came home, and me, the procrastinator of all blogging, sat down and spat this out. i got shit done that i've been postponing for weeks/days/probably months. in addition, i felt my voice more powerful. i emailed a guy i've been seeing and told him exactly what was on my mind instead of trying to be nice and skirt around the issue. one workout and i'm a new person! i had a nice clean post workout smoothie. (plus 3 small squares of dark chocolate! i deserve it. see, i haven't totally gone off the deep end.) and i'm determined to keep mixing things up. and surprising myself. that, along with a healthy dose of (kind) discipline and i believe things will start changing around here. goodbye same old same old. hello shiny new happy, gosh darnit. if the kettlebells don't kill me first.

You all know the saying. Usually associated with the power to overcome any obstacle and difficulty with force and strength. However, I have come to understand a completely different application of this often used phrase.
Over Memorial Day weekend I sustained a traumatic knee injury that left me, for the most part, immobile. I clearly recall the “POP” sound as I led a bootcamp class in Darien, CT at Equinox. More clearly than the sudden sound, I recall my subsequent thought. It went something like this: “Oh Shit.” I knew it was more than just a moment of temporary discomfort and something was wrong. As in, I was going to need surgery wrong. Although I prayed that an ice pack or two would magically restore my knee to good as new and had visions of walking and skipping along soon, I knew in my heart I was in for a long road of recovery. However, my ‘finish what you started at all costs” and tough, “I can handle anything” girl/athlete emerged as I continued to teach and finish out the class. Foolish? Perhaps. But it was a way to ignore not so much the physical hurt, but the emotional hurt. The sadness and frustration I knew would set in all too soon.
Yet, I had things to do, places to be and work to accomplish. I couldn’t let this ‘small injury’ completely sideline me. When I returned to the city later that day, ice pack strapped to my knee, I hobbled through Grand Central to continue home. What would typically be a 5-7 minute walk, turned into a 20 minute adventure. Push through, I told myself. In the words of a famous shoe company, “Just Do It.” It’s not that bad.  
That evening I kept moving, packing my suitcase for a flight out to LA the next morning. While I normally love to travel back to LA, this was one trip that did not excite me. I couldn’t believe I would have to gather not only my physical stuff, but once again, my mental stuff to push on. But push on I did. I just had to get through.
I continued to do a lot of ‘pushing on’ that week, making sure I got the medical attention I needed and completed what I set out to do with discomfort. I cut my trip short to return to NYC and again, do what needed to be done. For over a week, I’ve been hobbling around, making doctor’s appointments and jumping through all the necessary hoops to get this thing “taken care of”.
The whole incident brings to mind a small phrase I’ve heard my teacher Rod Stryker say during one of our meditations. I’ve had it memorized for about a month now “ . . . the indomitable will to do and to become . . .” The knowledge that I have the power to change whatever circumstance I’m in or whatever struggle I encounter is a huge motivator. However, now I had to use my indomitable will to actually DO LESS. I would now need to use my will and drive in a different way than what was normal for me. I would have to literally WILL myself to ask for help.
And ask I did. Checking my ego along with my bag, I requested a wheel chair at the airport. I felt like my grandmother, bag on my lap, leg propped up on one of those thing-a-ma-giggys that pops out from underneath the chair. (Is there a technical term for that? Footrest maybe?) By the way, if you are late to your flight and need to get to your gate ASAP, do a little hopping around and tell ‘em you need a wheelchair! You’ll fly on through! Of course, you’ll have to weigh the pros (the speed with which you’ll get through security) against the cons (a bruised ego), but that’s your call. I much rather sprint to my gate. Great cardio and no one looks at you funny, which made me truly uncomfortable. I could FEEL peoples’ stares of pity and empathy. Why that makes me uncomfortable is a topic for another blog all together.
I’ve asked my dear friend Joe Somodi to help me after my surgery (FINALLY scheduled for tomorrow!) to pick me up at the hospital and help care for me over the weekend. It made me so uncomfortable, but, God bless him, he graciously agreed without making it seem I was putting him out or that it would be a huge inconvenience (which I’m sure it is.)
These are just two of the many examples where I’ve piped up for assistance. However, SEVERAL friends, and even strangers, have just ‘shown up’. To Sheri, Karen, Sohpia, Bart and the entire crew at Dragonfly Productions, and those whose names I don’t even know – I can’t express enough gratitude. I am touched by your kindness and care. While I’m at it, to those who have expressed empathy and just sent thoughts, well wishes and love, thank you. I have felt every one of them.
But still, my “indomitable will to do and to become” drives me to get better and heal. Not willing to be completely sidelined, I’ve been finding ways to continue to move my body. (As I mentioned to some friends in an email, I would not be undermined by no stinking knee!) I've begun swimming, dragging my left leg behind me and now wondering why it took a traumatic injury to get me in the water again. I am a Pisces after all. It feels natural. It kicks my ass, but feels natural nonetheless! I am exhausted after a ½ hour in the pool and feel as if I could eat a cow on the days I swim (and often do). And I don’t ache at all after a water workout. It's a win-win.
I’ve also found a way to “squeeze in” some more of my yoga practice during my swim sessions. You see, I am a breathe every three strokes kind of gal. The rhythm and staring at the same line below you at the bottom of the pool can be very meditative. Much like meditation, you become aware of and begin to 'hear' all the chatter in the mind. In an effort to silence the chatter, I began adding in a mantra practice, silently reciting a piece of a mantra every time I exhale under water. I come out of the pool virtually levitating!
I’m still doing my asana practice, albeit, VERY VERY modified. But I can manage certain postures. The attention necessary to not do more harm to my body draws me inward even more than usual and I find it a perfect preparation for my morning meditations. On that note, I’ve also put more time into my meditation practice ensuring it is the one thing that continues. I can’t use the excuse that I’m unable to sit cross-legged. I prop my body up against the wall in bed, place a pillow under my legs and again, realize what it means to be truly comfortable and undistracted by physical discomfort during meditation. I need to help myself more often. And the benefits of my practice have become very evident. While the past two weeks and change have been a nuisance and not the most comfortable of my life, I am still able to find peace and ease amidst the turmoil of my body and my thoughts. Sure, I’ve succumbed to breakdowns on more than one occasion (most recently yesterday at the hospital upon being shuffled from doctor to doctor, unbearable waits, and exaggerated prognoses), but I release, and move on. I don’t feel as stuck and I renew my resolve once again.
I actually relate my injury to pregnancy. While admittedly I have never been pregnant, enough of my friends have, and I’ve heard enough stories where women use pregnancy as an excuse to succumb to every craving, eat whatever they want and let their healthy habits go awry. Yes, it would be easy to sit on my couch, cry and watch back to back episodes of The Bachelorette drowning myself in others’ miseries and drama. (Although, I will fess up to watching this show for the sheer comedy of it all!) This was not an option for me. I am grateful to possess “the indomitable will to do and to become”. Whether that is the will to still move, or the will to graciously accept help, receive and be kind to myself.
I’ve realized that I am not superwoman. Even I am susceptible to injury. I may need help from time to time. I may need to put the brakes on. Or I may need to find another way. What has become absolutely clear to me is that all of these take a certain amount of will, in one direction or another. It is the will to become something different than I am.

I felt that it's time to come clean with you. And me. Earlier this year, I made a resolution to be completely honest with myself and others and to be authentic. And while it makes me somewhat uncomfortable to share the following pages from my personal journal, when I look back at the pact I made with myself, it is clear to me that I must. I want to let you know that this journey to health and happiness isn't always so happy. Sometimes it downright sucks. So here is the ugly part. Via my brain dump last night . . . 

I'm mad. Like, really mad. And I don't know if I'm more angry over the fact that I've gained so much weight and my body is changing or the fact that I'm angry for being mad about it. Yes, it is all- well, quite maddening. And I want it to stop. I really really do. I don't want to wake up tomorrow morning and say, that's it. I'm going on a 'diet' mostly because I've been telling women forever not to live their lives that way--- that everything would be fine if they just lost some weight. And here I am, supposedly this picture of perfect health. Telling myself: "God dammit. Be thinner." Do a cleanse. Get rid of the 'evil' that lives as excess in your body. And if I were my friend right now I'd say, "Jennifer, shut up. You're being ridiculous. You look great. And besides, even if you gained 20 pounds, you'd still be the generous, loving person I love." But for some reason, such text book psychology isn't working on me. No more "little" chocolate chip cookies. No more sweet potato fries. No more ojas drink. No more ghee. I've got to start to find a balance. A balance between living my life and abusing my body. I've got to begin to truly believe that I'm more than my body. That regardless of the business I'm in, it does not define me. Intellectually I know all of this. But I'm struggling. I have, have, have to begin to BELIEVE this in my heart. Or else it's going to be a LONG second half of my life. 

GOOD MORNING! This week you have a chance to win my newest DVD, Flowetry! To enter is simple. Just read this little blog, try the recipe and give it a name. Here's the story:
Last week I had salad on the brain. (Very unusual given the Vata inducing weather here in NYC, but the heart wants what the heart wants!) I had all the goodies I needed, fresh mixed greens, good whole grains (wheatberries to be precise), hearts of palm, and of course, avocado. Then I went to grab one of my favorite dressings, Annie's  Natural Woodstock Dressing (if you've had it, you know why I'm kind of in love). I was looking forward to (lightly) pouring the tangy, zippy concoction on my greens. When mixed with the avocado, it creates a creamy dream. Of course, I had about two drops left. As a resourceful (and lazy) chick (who didn't want to go to the store), I said to myself, "Self. You are creative and the kitchen is your domain. Whip this up yourself."
And that's just what I did. I wanted to share it with you all immediately, I really did. However, I just didn't feel right sharing a recipe I called "Cheesy Tomato Dressing". First of all, it's cheesy. Second of all, how UNCREATIVE. That's terrible. It can't go out into the world like that. Especially when it's inspired by something as sassy as "Woodstock" dressing! It was unacceptable to me.
So I'm reaching out to you, my premier test kitchen! Please click here to download the recipe. Try it, taste it and then give it a name (please, something other than "Cheesy Tomato Dressing") by sending an email here. We'll select a winner at random to win a copy of my new DVD Flowetry and you'll also automatically be signed up for my monthly newsletter with more great recipes (hopefully ones with fun names!) and tips to stay healthy all year long.
Happy salads make happy people! Enjoy and good luck!

Note: This was originally written last week, while I was still traveling in Nicaragua. While I've settled back home, I am keeping this in its original tense. 

After a month of traveling - with the exception of a whopping 48 hours in NYC - I'm read to go home. I usually never say that. I'm usually the one that wants to stay somewhere anywhere other than 'home' (now NYC) and continue traveling. Just the thought of NYC and the cold would, typically, be enough to make me shudder. I never want to go back to the craziness, throwing my already imbalanced 'Vata' more out of balance. But something is different this week. I'm itching to get back and settle down for a while. To stay in one place. A shift has occurred.

I'm ready to stop running around. And start living my life and creating it. That's hard to do when much of your time is spend moving around just getting from one destination to the other. 
Don't get me wrong, I love to travel, have new adventures, see new things and meet new people (See photo. Who wouldn't love this?!?). I don't think that will change and I can't begin to imagine my life without these experiences. This past month alone I have been blessed to begin new friendships that have already supported and filled me up in countless ways (shout out to my ParaYoga peeps and Kate and Bill!)

But this week, I've been embracing change. Which may seem contradictory to everything I've just proclaimed. But it's not. Because, now, I'd prefer to embark on change that is more internally directed than externally. Rather than looking to external circumstances to alter my situation and life, I now understand the true transformational power of changing what counts - ME. I feel I can best accomplish my goals, at least for now, by staying put. Building relationships, creating new habits, patterns, and a whole different life for myself.

Traveling takes time. Heck, I can spend half my day on a subway just getting from here to there in this city, not to mention the time it takes to get to JFK, fly to a foreign country, hop on a bus, get in a car and lord knows what else I've done to chase the 'perfect place'. All of this to and fro diminishes my ability to invest and dedicate my time to the change that really matters and will create the most impact. I have a life and a purpose I need to embrace. I don't want to postpone any longer.

I know there will be challenges ahead. I will have to stay put when I want to run. This will require dedication to grow, learn and expand . . . and to be uncomfortable. It will take effort and, most importantly, patience.
But I feel ready. Ready to let go of the old habits, patterns and, yes, even people that no longer support my purpose and new goals. I've been preparing myself to do that for a few months now, though. I've been surrounding myself with more like minded people who understand my work and will love me unconditionally. It feels good to know that I am attracting more of that in my life. And it makes me want to stay where I am to cultivate and nurture those relationships, habits and actions that will propel me onward to success and wisdom. 
Which for me, is a change. And like the old adage says, the only thing constant, is change. 

Twas a few days before Christmas, sniffling all through the house
No one would come near me, not even a mouse. 
My bags were all packed, presents wrapped with much care
And hopes for warm FL weather when I arrived there.
Yet here I lay nestled all snug in my bed
While visions of flu season danced in my head.  
Oh no I prayed hard, this just can't be. 
Please please, dear Santa, keep the flu FAR from me. 
And in my stuffed head, there began a small clatter, 
The habits that keep me healthy, really do matter!
I sprang out of bed, covers thrown in a flash, 
And into my kitchen to raid my healing stash!
My neti pot filled, and ready to flow, 
Nasal passages clear with one final blow!
When what to my wondering eyes should appear, 
Vitamin C, D and probiotics were all here!
My homeopathic remedies always do the trick
With all of this, there's no way I'll get sick. 
More rapid than eagles, the solutions they came, 
I'll add teas with all sorts of herbs to my game.
On ginger, on lemon, on honey, lickety split!
Cinnamon and cumin will always do the trick. 
From the tip of my tongue, through the system it goes
I can feel the energy as it more readily flows!
And Triphala Oil, applied just after bath
You keep my VATA at bay so I stay on my path.  
My humidifier runs all through the night, 
To battle the dry and fight the good fight!
Warm home cooked foods will heal me inside, out 
And soon a huge smile will replace this poor pout. 
For this is the season to be merry and jolly. 
Spread lots of love and dance under the holly. 
And speaking of dance, I have to remember to move.
Just enough to get the juices flowing, to keep me in my groove. 
A walk in the park, by the lake, at the beach
Are good enough to keep health all within reach. 
I'll keep sipping water and the alcohol at bay. 
To ensure I'm not feeling groggy all the next day. 
I'll get plenty of sleep and take rest when I need, 
My body, my temple, is what I will heed. 
I'm back on my feet and ready to go
It's time to enjoy the holiday, and just take it slow. 
So I wish for you just before I take flight, 
LOVE PEACE AND JOY, and to all a GOOD NIGHT!

Don’t get any odd, kinky ideas. This blog is not food porn. QUINOA is actually not a grain but a seed, rich in protein (and a complete protein, I might add, meaning it’s a wonderful alternative for vegans!) typically found in South American countries. The Incans referred to it as “Gold” and consider it a sacred food. (To learn more about it’s history and nutritional profileand benefits click here. It's good stuff.)
I’ll spare you all the nitty gritty details because you can Google and read it. I am simply sharing how one of my most favorite foods in the world made its way into every meal I ate today.

Today was probably the first really chilly morning I've felt this Fall. While I had some brown rice for breakfast yesterday, that stash was depleted during last night’s dinner, and I was craving something warm that could sustain me for the long morning and afternoon of teaching ahead. Too lazy to go to the store and get some oatmeal (and not wanting to take the time to cook steel cut oats!) I remembered I had some quinoa. 1 cup to be exact. PERFECT. Because quinoa takes less time to cook than most hearty grains (appx. 20 minutes) I could put it on the stove and it would be ready by the time I was through with my morning meditation. And by golly, that’s exactly what I did.

While I do enjoy the taste of quinoa on it’s own, it can tend toward bitter (it is actually a relative of leafy vegetables such as Swiss Chard and spinach, which would explain it.) And I like sweet in the morning. Hmmmm. How to jazz it up? Easy breezy. I took a small pat of REAL butter (no low fat, no vegan stuff, the REAL DEAL full fat butter . . . but just a tad) to add some richness. Dropped in some raisins while the quinoa was still piping hot, allowing the steam to soften the raisins. I would have liked some slivered almonds, but the cupboard was bare in the nut category so I sprinkled in some dried coconut shreds. Topped with a touch of REAL maple syrup (READ: NO Aunt Jemima), some flaxseed and a healthy dose of cinnamon. This, today, was heaven.

Cut to this afternoon. Depleted. Tired. And needing something between the afternoon snack of some hummus and carrot/celery sticks and an evening yoga class. I popped into one of my most favorite prepared food markets in the city, “Dishes” and picked up some simple grilled veggies. Yellow and green squash, grilled onions (which I’ve been having EVERY DAY for the past three days in abundance to fend off this cold. PS: It worked!) and some grilled carrots. I could eat these all day. Cue QUINOA! Heated a small portion in the microwave and topped it with the warmed grilled veggies and leftover hummus from the snack. Easy. Complete and satisfying.

Off to yoga.

Back from yoga. Hungry. Again. Had a few chips and salsa (courtesy of Laurie’s Buffalo Gourmet. Really  digging their Black Bean and Garlic variety. And they’re higher in fiber than most corn chips. Check em out.) while I whipped up the next easy concoction starring, you guessed it . . . QUINOA (this is the third way. In a DAY I may add.) Grilled up some onions (surprise, surprise) in olive oil and added the quinoa giving it a nice toasty crunchy quality. Threw on the leftover grilled veggies to warm them up and then added . . . an EGG! Salt and pepper. Now that I see all of these together, I guess it’s like a better version of stir-fried rice. Only with quinoa. Genius, if I do say so myself. Especially because this dinner can actually be a great breakfast too! Dinner, breakfast, lunch, snack. I’m an equal opportunity quinoa eater.  

I’m a happy, full and very satisfied woman. With more left over for breakfast. . .

What’s your favorite way to enjoy this wonderful ‘seed’? Would love for you to share your ideas here!

My phone isn't ringing. The emails aren't pouring in either. I've received minimal response from a number of marketing efforts I've made. I wasn't asked to return to a conference to teach. I'm not crazy busy yet everyone else around me seems to be working and finding the success that somehow, seems to be eluding me. Will I ever work again? I'm worried people are not going to show up to the very first fundraising event I'm organizing for my charity, karmaNICA. I'm not giving my body what I know it needs to feel its best and thus I feel, well, gross. Fat. Ugly. Pick your favorite word. Yes, you may say I'm having a bout with insecurity right now.
And it's been going on for a while.  I recognize it as a legitimate feeling, and probably a result of wrapping up a number of projects that have kept me going non-stop from May until the middle of August. However, in an attempt to not allow it to completely sabotage me, I asked myself this question: Can insecurity actually be a good thing? Can I utilize it to motivate and maybe even inspire me? Looking at my past accomplishments and achievements or reviewing how many friends and fans I have on Facebook wasn't going to cut it. I needed a new tool. 
I've always had this desire, maybe even a NEED to succeed (at least as it's traditionally defined.), which in and of itself is often born out of insecurity. Typically success breeds a positive self image. Others praise us, we are congratulated and probably even feel more loved. Failure leads us to negative thinking, self criticism and contempt. But does this have to be true? 
I thought about what would happen if no one showed up to my event. What would that mean? Well, for starters it would mean a lot less money to help the children of Nicaragua that I treasure so dearly. I would be disappointed and feel I let them down. Since I have no children of my own, these young ones, along with my nephews, are the nearest I get to that pure, unconditional love found in a child. They don't know about your 'failures' or judge you because you are fat, skinny, old, young or are having a bad hair day. They love. It's what they do. And it makes me want to give more. And do all that I can to make this event a 'success'. 
This in turn, pushed me to put aside my pride, and get to work. Follow up emails. Asking for help. Being open with my fears. Exposing my confident facade. I actually told a friend in an email, "I'm really worried no one will show up. Do you think you could rally the troops for me?" 
It also reinforced a concept I know in my head to be true. Your experience is a direct reflection of your own behavior and internal state. Attract what you seek by becoming that very thing. Like attracts like. If I need friends right now, I need to be a friend. 
And, still, the karmaNICA event may not be the 'success' for which I'm hoping. Then what? This thought is forcing me to analyze what it means to be successful. And now, yes. I will look to others for inspiration. Quotes from highly successful people who have seen down times. Reflection upon the times when I have been knocked down but always seem to get back up. And knowing that I'm not the only one feeling these feelings or the first person to face adversity. All of these things remind me that if I feel defeated and deflated, it's temporary. I'll get back up, brush it off, and try again. It's not the first time and it certainly won't be the last. A friend recently told me that she felt as if "Life handed her a big old can of whoop ass." I responded with: "I understand. But know the day will come when you will be the one delivering a big old can of whoop ass to life." Your can of whoop ass is always just around the corner. 
Let's look at the physical feelings I'm having. In one word. YUCK. Things are not flowing. I'm plagued with indecision. I have no idea what to do next. I'm one of those people that is more efficient when I have more to do. I use adrenaline to fuel the tank and bluntly, to get shit done. I can be a machine. Like the energizer bunny. It has been traditionally how I've done it, and it's worked. But I do know it's unsustainable. And not healthy. It's a challenge for me to operate out of 5th gear. Right now, I have to learn a different way. How can I be productive without a list of 30 tasks in my day and how do I operate in a nice and easy 2nd gear? Spirit is asking me to be a little more still and listen. Something is not working. Why? What can I do differently? Do I need to do anything? Can I sit and write? Who says that is not productive? (I'm actually feeling better already!) Typically I feel 'useful' when I'm getting in a workout or working on a project. If I want to stop feeling this way and start feeling worthy no matter what, then I need to do something about it. Learn a different way. Grow my experience. 
This type of insecurity also tests my faith in all I believe in my head and hope to experience in my heart. My faith in the universe and forces greater than myself and this limited human body. That no matter what, I will be taken care of, supported and loved. And it is in these moments when I realize I can only fight this insecurity with MORE faith, not less. 
What I'm learning is that insecurity can drive us to action (or in my case, maybe a little more in-action), alter our perceptions and beliefs, and spark positive growth and change. To be honest and to share our honesty. To act upon the Golden Rule, "Do onto others . . . " And lastly to have faith in all that you are experiencing. The good, the bad, the ugly... and yes. Even the insecure. 

Ok. This entry was made to go here in April, a month ago. I can’t explain the mental block I’ve had with writing lately, but I am determined to get this to you. So here it is. A month later. Enjoy your workout.

Wow. Has it really been this long since I’ve written a blog here? Why, yes. Yes, it has. Suprising, because I’ve had so much to say lately. Discoveries, revelations, relationships, explorations . . . they’ve all been a part of my many adventures from the past 6 weeks have all from NYC to L.A. to Costa Rica, Panama, Nicaragua, Miami, various other stops in FL and now back to L.A. A few more days here until I finally land back where I began 6 weeks ago in NYC. I’ve missed writing. I’m trying to stay balanced through it all, but my meditations have been sporadic and distracted. Which doesn’t make me happy. On the flip side, seeing my nephews, visiting with some of the best friends a gal can ask for, making many new friends, finding a renewed sense of purpose and working on new, challenging and FUN projects has filled me up to the point where I’ve been moved to tears with gratitude and love. So all’s good. For all of this ‘deep’, insightful stuff I have to share, I’ve felt the need to simply tell you about my kick ass workout the other day. I know I typically post a recipe, but I’m going to skip that to outline this routine. First and foremost because I admittedly have been doing very little cooking lately with my crazy travel schedule (Unless, of course, you count the kick ass margaritas I made last weekend for my sis in law’s birthday, which I’m happy to post as well!) Although I’m not a huge runner, doing just that the past four days or so in the heat of southern Florida helped me sweat, detox, and just feel a little bit like me. And all you need is your sneakers, some open space, such as a park,
So here it is:
20 minute jog/run to park

Find two points you can gauge about 20 feet in distance.
Alternate between:
-- Crab crawls
-- High knees
-- Spider Man walks (on all fours, R hand front as L foot steps front. Switch)
-- Awkward Spider Man (same thing but do same hand and leg!)
Go up and back at least once for each exercise, then repeat they cycle again.

Take a breather and stretch.
Now find a stick.
Jump over the stick with two feet back and forth as quick as you can for 30 sec. Rest 30 sec. Repeat 6x. If it gets too challenging, hop over on one leg. 

Time for lunges. Same leg. Lunge front. Step together. Lunge back. Step together. Repeat 10x.
Hold back in a Crescent Pose and stretch.
Repeat other leg.

Move on to core. Do some boat poses, sit ups. Planks. Try this in plank: Bend your knees toward you chest, slightly tucking your hips underneath you, pulling navel back to spine. Re-extend to plank.
Do that 10x.
OOOO, or this one always gets me. Start in plank. Keeping your core engaged and hips up, drop down to one elbow, then the other. Then one arm at a time return to plank. 
Do that at least 10x. 

Now go on. Scram. Run (or walk) home. And don’t forget to stretch.
If you stretch, I’ll write more. Deal? Oh yeah. And drink lots of water, especially in the heat of the summer!

I recently got REALLY fired up about a post a colleague, friend, and trainer I respect very much, Dale Dymkoski, posted on his blog this week regarding yoga. I tried to write my 'comment' on his page, but because it was so long, it didn't fit. I had lots to say and carefully thought out my retort. To get the full picture, please read Dale's blog and then read below for what I have to say about it. 

I'd like to respectfully, offer a contradictory view, as I have to disagree. This article demonstrates a lack of understanding of what the discipline of yoga is truly about and how to practice it properly. Unfortunately today, many instructors are not teaching as they should or offering proper cuing to ensure students engage their muscles and foster strength in the body. Yoga is not all about being Gumby and forcing yourself into pretzel like positions. Yes, practicing yoga properly may emphasize the elongation of the muscle. But to equate that with ‘loose = weak’ muscles, as you do, is a fallacy. If properly taught, a student can discover both strength and flexibility in any pose. I ALWAYS discuss the concept of ‘strong stretching’ in my classes, whether it’s yoga or sculpting.

I agree that there are many poses most people should NOT be attempting. However, in this case, it's the opposite of the traditional saying, "Don't shoot the messenger". It is ABSOLUTELY a yoga instructor's responsibility to assess every student’s ability, and teach proper alignment and how to build a safe and STRONG practice. I cringe when I see instructors leading poses that, as you mentioned, are unsafe for a 99.5% of their students. Typically, there is a lack of understanding on the student's part of how to effectively practice not only advanced, but even the most basic of poses, which most certainly, can lead to injury and pain.
And again, it is the instructor’s duty to guide a student to more difficult asanas to ensure the student is moving into them safely and effectively, balancing the fine line between ‘discomfort’ and ‘pain’, just as it is the student’s responsibility to heed their own body’s communication.

What causes injury and pain is the practitioner NOT the practice. (As a note, I myself have experienced much relief from joint aches and muscle tears by practicing yoga.) Both the instructor and the student must share equal responsibility for a safe and effective yoga practice. Students should understand the true meaning of yoga and recognize it as a process. Teachers bear the burden of effectively communicating that message and fostering the proper environment in which the practitioner is safe to progress at their own pace and level of understanding.
One must move MINDFULLY in yoga. A practitioner CAN NOT check out and just soar through the class. That is the greatest challenge. To find the mind body connection. We as instructors, trainers and guides, give a lot of lip service to that philosophy, but rarely do we foster it or encourage it. And that’s a shame.

Addressing your point of 'functionality'. No, placing your foot behind your head is not, at first glance, particularly ‘functional’. But just like many exercises, more advanced yoga poses (or asanas) offer a challenge that can be beneficial to the body as well as the mind, similar to any advanced level of physical training. Learning how to use the breath to calm the body and the mind under situations of slight duress is EXTREMELY beneficial in the real world. There is no better preparation for everyday challenges than the yoga mat. If you can manage to stay calm when your hand is under your leg which is over your head in a room that’s 75*, you can certainly handle the stress of bumper to bumper on the 405. I don’t know anything more practical than that.

Unfortunately, our fitness culture, with it's result oriented focus, promoting that harder, faster and MORE is always better, has bastardized what yoga is meant to be. We have lost the joy of the process of getting from A to B, fostering the concept of what many in the yoga community like to call “gym yoga”. After three classes, students are expecting to do handstands and place their legs around their necks. It’s like asking someone who just began jogging to run a marathon tomorrow.

I also strongly feel we would all be better served to adopt a more holistic approach to training and fitness. I for one am so exhausted by the mindset that we only workout for a tight ass and great muscle tone. Exercise should be a complement to life, not another thing to do on our task list. It should enhance what we do and be a source of joy, not struggle.

I am not dismissing cross training or varying one’s fitness routine. I think it is EXTREMELY important, as you mentioned, for a healthy, well rounded approach to exercise. More importantly, including various disciplines into your fitness routine prevents boredom, which can lead to a lifetime practice of health and wellness as opposed to something we do to lose ten pounds.
However, your take on yoga is misguided. Yoga is not a means to a tight ass or extraordinary abs, although, when practiced properly, those ends can certainly be achieved. I agree with you 100% that balance is key. But you will find no better way to achieve a connection between the mind body and spirit than from the timeless and always evolving discipline of yoga.

Ok, ladies. Let's talk about when it's appropriate for a woman to fake it. What I'm about to say may surprise you. NEVER. No, not in the bedroom. Why would we let men believe a mediocre performance is acceptable? It wouldn't be acceptable in the office, so why is it ok in our homes (or elevators, or restrooms, or . . . ?) Why should we PRETEND we're having a pleasurable experience when we're not? We constantly stay silent when things are not satisfactory. I know more than once, I've had a bad massage and haven't said anything while I'm basically getting chafed by someone's hands that are simply rubbing my skin as opposed to soothing my muscles. 
Let me tell you another time it's NOT OK to fake it. With your food. Food is meant to be enjoyed, celebrated and loved. Not feared and hated. I was inspired to write this particular blog when I went to make egg salad at my mother's house this week. I was craving some healthy protein and my mom's kitchen is not exactly what one would consider the mecca of healthy and nutritious food. The closest you could come to something green would be an old piece of romaine lettuce and the lime jello mold that has become notoriously synonymous with Thanksgiving in the Fortunes family. I did find a fresh bunch of celery stalks which was mostly meant for the holiday Bloody Mary's, but I devoured that within a day. 
All right, back to the egg salad. I figured within the rows of processed food that lined my mother's shelves and refrigerator, there MUST be some good old fashioned mayonnaise somewhere. But the only thing I found was a plastic squeeze bottle of some off white gelatenous gloop that was a mere shadow of the good stuff. Reduced fat mayonnaise. Nasty. This shit tastes like nothing real to me. No actual food product. Not eggs, not oil. There was barely an ingredient on there I could pronounce!
You see, my mother, like so many women, have fallen into the trap the food and diet industry has set for us. They've played into our collective 'fat phobia', making us believe that the number across from the 'calorie' and 'fat' listing on the package is more important than the list of ingredients. That we have to PRETEND to eat food that is totally disgusting, for lack of a better word, and made in a lab in order to loose weight. And then PRETEND to like it, too --- in order to achieve the figure the media tells us is beautiful. By the way, 90% of those women in photos and ads you see? They're faking it too. Whether pre photo, with plastic surgery, make up, and other medical wonders, or post photo, with photoshop. 
And I may be going out on a limb here, but I believe you are what you eat. And if you're filling your body with an abundance of "fake food" then you are slowly, from the inside out, becoming a 'fake' version of what you are meant to be. At any size, an example of true, radiant and vibrant health. Not health based on a number on the scale or in your jeans. 
I'm not suggesting you sit down with a jar of mayonnaise and dig in with a spoon. (Although, I have been known to do that with peanut or almond butter!) However, I am suggesting that if you want egg salad, by golly HAVE IT, and make it with the real deal. One tablespoon of full fat mayo goes a LONG way. And more importantly, tastes SO much better than anything less than it. Chances are you'll feel full and your craving will be satisfied. Whereas that low-fat shit in a bottle? All it's going to do, like a bad lover, is leave you unfulfilled, wanting more and craving something that truly makes you feel GOOD. Which is exactly how I felt after my pseudo egg salad. 
By the way, if you're interested, here is what I WOULD have made, had I had the right ingredients! 

Curry Egg Salad
Eggs. One of the most complete nutritious foods on earth, in my opinion. I don’t eat them often, but when I have a protein craving, this is my go to grub. Love this simple recipe.

1. 6 hardboiled eggs, preferably organic/free range
2. 1 red bell peppers finely diced (Orange or yellow is a good option as well)
3. 1-2 tbsp. Mayonnaise or Vegenaise (Although, if your using this for egg salad, it kind of defeats the ‘Vegan’ purpose. I just really like the taste.)
4. 1-2 tbsp. Dijon mustard
5. 1 tsp curry powder
6. 1 tsp cayenne (more if you like it HOT)
7. 1 tsp cumin
8. Salt to taste

Carefully peel hard-boiled eggs and remove shell. I like to use the yolk of 3 to 4 of the eggs and only use the whites of the remaining eggs. (Note: Please don’t be afraid off egg yolks! Unless you are eating 3 eggs a day, or have to watch cholesterol levels due to a heart condition, they are the most nutritious portion of the egg high in essential vitamins and minerals.)
‘Separate’ eggs with hands into large pieces and place in bowl. With a fork, begin mashing the eggs until the pieces are small. I like really fine pieces, so this step may take a few minutes.
Add 2 and stir together.
Blend in 3-7 and keep mashing! Chill for at least an hour and serve.

While the change of seasons can be beautiful here on the east coast, the change of weather can also tend to be drastic (a week ago here in NYC it was 75*. This morning it's 45*. Suspect.) which often leads to illness and colds. Bleh. Mine came early this year after a chilly trip to Boston this past weekend to teach for the ECA conference with Mad Dog. While the students heated up the classrooms with their enthusiasm and hard work (thank you all for your energy and wonderful participation!), it remained chilly outside. I am NOT a fan of cold weather. It comes with baggage, literally and figuratively. I automatically gain ten pounds this time of year by layering on scarfs, heavy coats, sweaters, etc. While it's great to add the ounces for an effective workout as I run to the subway, it certainly doesn't make a gal feel very sexy. Not to mention, the heat comes on in the building, and even if I leave it off in my apartment, the air inevitably becomes dry and stale. Given my Vata dosha (to read more about what that means, click here!), I am one of the few people that LOVE the heat and humidity. I can actually breathe easier and my body feels wonderful in it. (Thus, my love of Southeast Asia and particularly BALI!!!) This cold, dry, acrid weather? Not good. So, to combat my cold and the cold in general, I've spent the past 12 hours or so scheming in the kitchen concocting remedies and solutions I thought I'd share with you. From some traditional herbal healing recipes I picked up in Bali to my favorite standbys, they're all here. I hope you'll find these help keep the chill and the colds at bay. 
First, and I say this more to myself than any of you . . . lay off the SALT!!!! I think I've been eating way too much lately, contributing to my dehydrated state. One way to do this is to avoid prepared and processed foods. Even dishes you think are good for you can be loaded with hidden salt. I ate some dairy free pureed spinach from one of my favorite spots in the city, Dishes, and thought it tasted too good to be true! It was. I feel awful today! Especially soups. So be careful. That's all I'm saying.
Second, get a humidifier. Mine runs 24-7. In the bedroom at night, out in the office or living area during the day. I have the Germ Gaurdian one which has mixed reviews on Amazon.com, but you can get a rundown of some of the top rated ones here. 
Third, change up your breakfast routine with warming foods. For me a dip in the temperature means a switch in how I start my day. This morning it was steel cut oats with stewed apricots and a shitload of ginger. Ginger is great to aid digestion and a wonderful anti-inflammatory and immune boosting agent. It warms from the inside out. I added it to my Jamu last night (more on Jamu below!) and you can also take a small slice and stick it under your tongue. Or simply grate a bunch of it and throw it in a pot of boiling water to make tea. And some honey if you like it sweet. You can't O.D. on ginger so go for it. Here is one of my favorite recipes: 

Stewed Fruit
This is my favorite thing on top of a piping bowl of oatmeal. I prepare a big batch and keep in the fridge to use all week long. But the juice is great for a tummy ache or on it’s own. A sweet natural treat.

½ - 1cup water
2 cups fresh Dried Fruit such as prunes, figs, apricots.
Fresh Ginger (Slices or grated, at least 1 tbsp. grated, I use more)
Orange Zest (Optional)
Cinnamon

Combine Fruit, Ginger, and Zest in water. Bring to a boil and reduce to a simmer for 20 minutes. Add cinnamon and cover. Allow to sit on stove for about ten minutes. You can store in refrigerator for up to a week and the juice begins to get thicker. Great topping in oatmeal or add a little homemade granola. Perfect in the colder months. Keeps the digestive system warm.

Ok, on to my favorite part of this blog, JAMU! I learned how to make Jamu my very first day in Bali from Lilir, who guides you step by step and teaches you why Indonesians have been using holistic, natural healing formulas for centuries. This particular combination is a great antiseptic, warming tonic, expectorant, and cleansing and slimming tonic. Really, what more can you ask for? Basically, a cure for all that ails you. I had to modify the recipe slightly, since I didn't have all the fresh ingredients available to me here in the States. But it still came out fabulous. Try it yourself and see!

1 tbsp. Tumeric
1tbsp. Galangal
(I used the powdered version of both of these, but if you can find fresh, go for it!)
2 tbsp. Tamarind (I found the paste at a Whole Foods market)
Agave nectar (How much you use depends on how sweet you like it. Start out with about 2 tbsps and you can go from there. Also, you can probably use honey, depending on your taste. The traditional recipe calls for palm sugar. Again, in Bali we used fresh palm sugar straight from the plant. But I'm not in Bali anymore, sadly. I wouldn't recommend using white refined sugar)
2 tbsp. fresh ground ginger (like I said, I'm a ginger freak, but you can use less if you'd like)

Blend the Tumeric and Galangal powder with at least 1 1/2 cups water in a blender on low speed. Pour into small saucepan and add Tamarind and Ginger on low heat. Consistently stir and 'smash' Tamarind until most of it dissolves in solution, about 10 minutes. Just before finishing, add Agave or Honey. Pour mixture through a small mesh strainer, 'pushing' all the liquid out with the back of a spoon. You can save what you don't drink in the fridge for up to three days. Reheat or drink cold. 

I'm telling you, this is good stuff. At least I like it. Just finished a cup as I complete this blog. Now it's off to heat up and sweat out the toxic amounts of salt at Prana Power Yoga with Rachel. The day is looking up! 

Brutal. That's how I would describe the heat and humidity thus far this summer. I don't recall even having Spring here in NYC. It went straight from about 60* to 90* once June hit. And since that didn't seem to be hot enough for me, I decided to head further south to FL for some additional torture the other week. If you've never been to FL in the summer it feels something like walking into a wall of heat. It stops you dead in your tracks. I've been brutally reminded of the importance of proper hydration the past two weeks, especially post exercise in this weather, whether indoor or outdoor. I returned from a bike ride along the beach and my aunt commented that I looked as if I stepped straight out of a magazine or tv ad. My back was wet and glistening. And no, I had not just jumped out of a pool. I was drenched in sweat --- and LOVING it. For the same reasons I do hot yoga and prefer no air conditioning while working out (Which is why I don't really like working out in a gym. I do it but always wish I could ask the manager to turn off the air and all the fans in the joint. C'mon ladies with the make up and hair spray. A little sweat will do your skin wonders!), I love working out in 95* heat with a shit ton of humidity. If I'm going to sweat, I might as well pour. Which is also how I've uncovered some great recipes and drink concoctions to stay cool this summer. If this weather is any indication of what the rest of the summer is going to be like, it's gonna be a LOOOOONG, HOT one. Just how I like it.

Some drinks I've found quite refreshing and their recipes, if necessary, are below.

ICED PASSION TEA:

4-5 Bags TAZO herbal PASSION tea (if you prefer a slightly caffeinated version, you can experiment with adding one or two bags of a green or white variety tea. I've done a white rose tea and a green lemongrass, both of which added a nice flavor with limited 'jitters'.)
4 cups boiling water
Stevia and/or agave nectar

Really, what could be easier? I've become addicted to this concoction this summer. Place tea bags in heat resistant container and add about 3 tsps of Stevia. I also add a little agave nectar. Play with your sweetener amounts. Depends on how sweet you like your tea. Pour the water over the tea bags and let sit for at least 20 minutes (I usually do longer). After steeping, remove and squeeze tea bags to ensure all flavor is eeked out! Begin to add ice, as the liquid will be quite concentrated. Chill in refrigerator and pour over ice anytime you need a refreshing lift. It's been the new staple in my fridge. Actually, I'm going to pour myself a glass now!

Something else I live off year round, but love it more in the summer, is the SYNERGY brand of Kombucha. Sadly, there has been some controversy over their truth in labeling the amount of alcohol (naturally occurring in all Kombucha due to the fermentation process) which has caused the company to pull it from the shelves of many major outlets (including all Whole Foods and most natural health food stores). I may have to resort to making my own again. Not the most space efficient task, but it definitely saves my wallet from being consistently drained! If you're interested in how you can 'grow' this healthy, amazing tonic yourself, click here.

Another great pick me up tonic, perfect for pre or post workout, is an Apple Cider Vinegar cocktail! Pour yourself some cold lemon or lime flavored sparkling water, add one to two tbsps. of Apple Cider Vinegar (I find Bragg's to be the best and they are the most well-respected brand), depending on how you like the taste, and a splash of cranberry juice. Easy and SO refreshing. 

Of course, you can't beat coconut water in this heat. The best way to enjoy it is right out of the shell, but I know that isn't always the most convenient or easiest way to get the good stuff. However, in my humble opinion, it is the best. Need to know how to open your coconut? Watch this. Of course, when I do it, I'm much less graceful and mine does end up everywhere, but whatever works to get to the good stuff. Other options? Buy one of the many varieties you find on the retail shelves these days. My favorite is Amy and Brian's, as I feel theirs tastes most like the real deal. They even sell one with the pulp! Delish. I also like VitaCoco or O.N.E. brand isn't bad either. Yes, coconut water really IS nature's Gatorade supplying electrolytes and potassium to the body in a most tasty way!

And to beat the heat in the kitchen, and save time, I've really been wearing out my food dehydrator. You can slice apples, (or any fruit for that matter!) and toss them with a little bit of agave and cinnamon, pop them in the food dehydrator and a day later you have healthy homemade apple chips! It sure beats using an oven. I've also been dehydrating onions, mushrooms and zucchini and they make great add ons in salad, if they ever even make it that far. I tend to eat them right of the dehydrator tray! You can learn more about food dehydrators here. Mine is an Excalibur and I LOVE IT!

Ok, one more recipe and I'm done. It's too beautiful of a day to be sitting inside typing anymore! This is SO simple and healthy. Who wants to end up slaving in the kitchen during the dog days of summer? This literally takes about 5 minutes and will keep in the fridge for a few days.

Simple Broccoli and Avocado Salad:

1-2 heads fresh broccoli (Broccoli is not one of the 'Dirty Dozen' so it doesn't HAVE to be organic, although I will always recommend that. But hell, who am I kidding? I don't always buy organic either. And there you have it.)
1/2 Lemon
1/4 cup Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1 Avocado (same with the broccoli with regards to 'organic')
Sea salt and pepper to taste

Super simple. Lightly steam the broccoli for about 3 minutes and until it's bright green (nothing worse than mushy broccoli!). Place in large bowl. With a small spoon, begin to carve 'chunks' of avocado and add to bowl. Add olive oil and juice of lemon and toss while still warm, as the heat from the broccoli will begin to 'melt' the avocado and combine with the lemon and olive oil to make a nice 'dressing'. Add salt and pepper to taste. Seriously. That's it. You could get creative and add some slivered almonds, or a little bit of red quinoa. Or just eat it out of the bowl. You can serve it warmor cold, in the air, in a chair. Speaking of chair, I need to get out of mine and get my ass outside! ENJOY SUMMER!

What a weekend. My eyes were like waterworks and I could never be sure when the tears were going to start. It was so unexpected, because my Friday started out pretty kick ass. It was a beautiful day here in NYC. Sunny, breezy, warm. Perfect Spring has sprung type of weather. After some PR photos with my gal Kelsey from CRUNCH for an upcoming workout in SELF Magazine, we decided to wander over to the best "fast food" place on earth, Pret a Manger. Or as New Yorker's would call it, simply "Pret". Now before you get up in arms at the words "fast food" check out their website. This stuff is FRESH as it gets in a box. No soggy lettuce or wet bread. Ick. Nothing fried or even grilled. Fresh baked whole wheat breads, wraps and salads makes this place a standout and NYC fave. Kelsey and I decided to try the Salmon and Brown Rice Salad which seemed very similar to the brown rice bowls I love to make at home. I was skeptical about the whole salmon part, but I shouldn't have been. This thing ROCKED and has a healthy balance of wholesome unrefined carbohydrates (brown rice), protein (salmon and edamame), fresh veggies (cucumber and red cabbage) and healthy fats (let's hear it for the omega-3's in salmon!). My new fave. The only thing missing for me was avocado! So we also split an Avocado and Parmesan sandwich as well. Not QUITE as healthy, but damn it was good. I've been in love with my avocados lately and using them in a simple salad I've been loving all weekend. To be honest, if you've read my Facebook posts recently, I've been downing desserts like it was the fourth meal of the day. I felt the need to clean up my act a little bit, nutritionally speaking. Here's the Detox Salad I've made for dinner two nights in a row:

Detox Salad:

Shredded Red and/or Green Cabbage
Mixed Greens (Mesclun salad mix, spinach, ARUGULA and KALE are my faves)
1 Roma Tomato
Slices of Red Onion
1/2 Avocado (or more if you wish!)
1/4 cup Edamame (optional)
1/2 Lemon
EVOO and Balsamic Vinegar
Sea Salt
Cayenne Pepper

Toss all ingredients in large salad bowl, drizzle with EVOO and a few dashes of Balsamic Vinegar, squeeze the lemon on there, add a little S&P and mix well so the avocado mixed with the liquid gives it a nice creamy "dressing" like texture. Simple, fresh and YUMMY.

Ok, back to the weekend. I continued to bask in the sunshine of the day on Friday walking all the way down to the Village, making pit stops at BB&Beyond (my new home away from home as I begin remodeling this apartment in NYC!) and Lohemann's (I really need to get back to work at some point. I don't even like to shop and I'm shopping.) Decided I would get a workout in and popped into Equinox a little before 5pm. At this point, my day was still fantastic. I received a dose of inspiration and surge of energy on the treadmill so decided to hop into the open studio and start working on choreography for my dance class on Sunday. It came pouring out of me like water out of a faucet. I love those routines that just seem to find their own steps. I left the gym with a good foundation for the routine and still chipper and happy. Somewhere between the subway home and midnight, my mood shifted. Unexpectedly, unpredictably. I came home just worn out and exhausted and had a late conference call at 7pm with the west coast. Again, all good there too. No reason for this sudden turn. I was scheduled to go on a date to see a documentary film, and just couldn't get excited. But I was committed and really did want to see the film about choreographer and dance pioneer, Anna Halprin, Breath Made Visible. I begrudingly dragged my ass in the shower but felt rushed and annoyed as I hustled to make the 9pm viewing. We had to wait in line for the previous viewing to finish and I could barely stand. I was becoming crankier by the minute and I felt awful for my date. I was no sort of good company tonight. Finally, we entered the theater and after an introduction by Anna herself, the movie began. I was not prepared for the emotions that this film stirred in me. Anna Halprin was not your typical ballerina. Nor was she a traditional modern dance choreographer. This woman felt EVERYTHING. And now revisiting the website, I can tell the musical score had a lot to do with the emotional stirrings in my body. Not to mention Anna and her husband, landscape architect, Larry Halprin's lovely relationship which is a true testament to what it means to be a life partner in love and friendship. Everything about this film is inspiring and beautiful. Even when it touches upon some ugly topics, such as Anna's cancer.  The woman basically healed herself through dance. I sat in awe of this woman who never compromised her expression or her movement. Nor apologized for it. If we all could be so daring in the exploration of our emotions, no matter what form we choose. It was quite simply, beautiful. While I did cry, I was holding back what would surely have been an embarrassing and uncomfortable situation for my date. I needed a much bigger release. Yet, after the film, I suggested we go somewhere for dessert. Seriously? At 11pm? Why? Was I avoiding going home and dealing with the emotions that were bubbling up inside of me? Wanting to shove them down with sweets? Probably, yes. Although the dessert was yummy, I was disconnected and didn't enjoy it, nor my company, as much as I should have. I went home only to receive a large package that unlocked the dam holding back the flood of tears that began to run down my face. What began as a beautiful day turned into quite frankly, a wet mess. I finally cried enough to drain myself of any energy and fell into a not so peaceful sleep of unpleasant dreams. And awoke with what I like to call a 'crying hangover'. Saturday felt very lethargic for me, and while it was a beautiful day outside, I stayed inside as the tears continued to pour on and off like a dripping faucet. I threw myself into the many home chores I needed to do, trying to keep myself busy and occupied. I finally decided it was time to get outside, tears or no tears, for a walk. My first stop was an attempt to make my body feel better after my late night sugar rush. Liquiteria. Some of the best darn juices in the city. A little more shopping (am I detecting a pattern here?) and walking around the city. I shunned any social offers to return home, clean up and make my Detox Salad above. I was going to be nice to myself, read and watch another documentary, Food Inc. I know it's been a phenomenon for about a year now, but I was just getting around to watch it. While nothing in the film totally surprised me, it is a MUST see for anyone who wants to know more about where a majority of our food is coming from these days. Please watch the trailer here.  Again, another very powerful and inspiring film about one of my other passions . . . . FOOD.  And a great motivation to change the way this country's agricultural system operates. I could go on and on about this topic, but I'll save that for another day. I collapsed once again to bed with a more restful night of sleep. 
Since I feel like I am dragging on and on in this blog, I'll finish it similar to how I finished last week's blog. With a story of how dance continually saves me. I was still not feeling 100% Sunday morning, but the rain gave me an excuse to stay inside, rest, and finish my choreography to a song that has always, and continues to, move me. Breathe, by Anna Nalick. I poured my heart and soul into teaching that routine last night (thank you to all who shared their passion and energy with me yesterday afternoon at Equinox in Columbus Circle. You saved my weekend!) and as always, felt so much better for it. I'm not going to lie, I felt very alone and very sad this weekend. But looking back, it's something I needed. Time to process, time to release, and time to cry. We all need that every now and then to come out bright and shiny on the other side. 

My last day here in Los Angeles and I'll be boarding another plane in just a few short hours. I'm tired of traveling and can't wait to be home in NYC where I can begin preparing my own food again and pay attention to my nutrition to really get my body back to optimum functioning capacity. This week has been disastrous for me. It has proven the necessity for me to be on a disciplined diet, not from a 'low-fat, carb cutting, calorie watching' perspective. But to be more mindful of making the best possible choices for me and my body. Pay attention: This does not necessarily equate with RESTRICTION or DEPRIVATION. All I'm saying is I know what my body needs to run like a well oiled machine and I haven't been giving it that. My energy is low, I've been supplementing with more caffeine, (never a good option) and feeling, well, just blah. Next week, I'm home and going to kick off Spring with a 3 day cleanse from my favorite provider of all things good and fresh, Blue Print Cleanse and so I don't feel completely deprived, am planning on testing out their new program, the  Juice til Dinner package which is more up my alley. I know it's not the BEST way to eat, and contrary to what all the other 'experts' out there proclaim, but I can make it through my day with very little sustenance and really need some nourishment come 6pm or so. I am constantly on the go, teaching, taking classes, etc. and for the most part, a heavy lunch does not sit well with me. Hey, cut me some slack. I just started eating breakfast a little over a year ago. Anyway, judge if you'd like. It works for ME, but I am not recommending it for everyone. If you are able to sit and digest your food in the afternoon, or do your workouts in the morning or plan your workouts for after work, then, absolutely. A good filling, satisfying lunch is best. Period. End of story. Ok then. Enough about future plans and on to the present. While I'm in LA, I, unfortunately rarely cook. My breakfasts usually consist of my morning latte (those of you who read my blogs or writings frequently know what this is all about!) and a raw food bar and/or a piece of spelt bread with some almond butter slathered on it. Lunch, well, we've already discussed that above. I'm usually running around picking up a snack here and there from Whole Foods or Erewhon or wherever else I can pull over and pick up something to eat in the car (I know, I know . . . ). Dinner is my time to sit with friends that I haven't seen and catch up. The usual haunts? Real Food Daily, M Cafe, blah, blah, blah. But I was over them this week. I needed a fresh perspective, something new. And I found a few great places this trip. First and foremost, my new favorite,  CRU in Silverlake. It's a little out of the way for me, but worth the drive. This vegan and mostly gluten free restaurant serves up both raw and cooked food. It's AH-MAAAA-ZING! I started with the raw squash and curry soup last night and chose the mushroom and asparagus crepes for my main course. Caroline, my wonderful friend, had the risotto. To DIE for. And of course, being the dessert whores we both are, Caroline ordered this 'off the menu' treat of yummy-ness with carmelized manna bread, raw vanilla ice cream and homemade caramel sauce. (Our waiter actually apologized for the wait on our dessert because the kitchen was making some fresh caramel sauce. Uh, we forgive you.) I love three hour dinners with nourishing tasty food and wonderful company. Thank you to Cru, Chef Rachel and Caroline for making my final LA meal memorable. (FYI, Cru also offers kick ass cooking classes every Sunday. Check it out!) Some other new and noteworthy joints in my Los Angeles restaurant book: HealthyCa in North Hollywood for those of you on the 'other side' of the hill, and, for something with a little more atmosphere and a great place for both vegetarians and none alike, AKASHA in Culver City (some of the BEST sweet potato fries I've ever had my hands on!) Akasha also makes KILLER drinks with all organic ingredients and fresh squeezed juices. You have to have the 'Emerald City' with Tru organic gin, house made basil elixir and fresh lime. Seriously? It's too good. Be careful! If anyone else has some recommendations whether in LA or your city of choice, post them here! I love to hear from people in the know about where to go! Happy Passover/Easter everyone and have a great weekend! 

Ahhhh, one of my favorite things to do . . . Procrastinate. The word just sounds wrong: Pro-CRAAAAS-tinate. Ugh. But darn if I'm not very very adept in this area. Bad for me when deadlines have to be met. Good for you when looking for new recipes! Because, for me, the best and easiest way to procrastinate? COOK! Or at least go try to whip something up in the kitchen. So I don't waste any more darn time getting started on this new dance workout DVD (Did I peak your interest??? Stay tuned!) I'm going to get right to the point. I made the tastiest, healthiest Chocolate Peanut Butter shake you can possibly find. So here you go:

Choco Chunkey Monkey

1/2 cup UNSWEETENED Chocolate Almond Milk (I like Blue Diamond Brand)
1 ripe banana
1-2 tbsps. natural nut butter of choice (peanut and almond are always faves)
3 heaping tblspns CHOCOLATE HEMP SEED PROTEIN POWDER
Touch of agave
A dash STEEVIA
1 tsp. Cinnamon
ICE

Stick all that in a blender and whip it up! Pour in a tall glass and you can add a dash of cinnamon on top if you'd like!
I also added a GREEN SUPERFOOD powder. The brand I use is not too overpowering so you couldn't even tell there was so much good stuff in there. DRINK IT UP!!!

Today was an odd day for me. Right from the get go, I felt a little 'off'. Like I was outside my body watching my life go on. I felt like 'something' was going to happen. Nothing monumental. Today just felt weird. Like a quiet calm before the storm. I was praying there would be no storm. 
And there wasn't. But I wasn't wrong either. I had an unexpected 'drop in' from the ex-BF. Although I certainly wasn't expecting it, I wasn't shocked. Like I said, I knew there was going to be 'something'. I just didn't expect to see 'this thing'.
Although it was a brief visit, it was nice to just have a connection again. A hug. To see someone you care deeply about is never a bad thing. 
But it did leave me quiet for the rest of the day. Not sad. Just quiet. So my day went on and I knew the best thing for me was yoga. I'm still a little tweaked from my Rolfing session the other evening. Not quite sure I gave my body enough time to rest after. What can I say? That's me. 
So I hit up a class at NY Yoga's hot studio. The heat of Bikram, the fluidity and dance of vinyasa. Sweat dripping. Cleaning, purging, releasing . . . ahhhhhh. It felt good. I was putty at the end. And as I mentioned in my Facebook post, I'm so thankful for my Manduka mat, for it reminds me to let go. And more importantly, it's not about how I can perfect a pose of twist deeper, but that I just show up. That in and of itself is healing. 
So in my reflective state, I decided to forgo a movie with a friend and come home and do what I love to do when I want to be quiet: cook. Or just get in the kitchen and create. 
And ever since I've returned from Los Angeles earlier this week, I've been having a difficult time getting my body back 'on track'. So I wanted to eat as clean as I could. Unfortunately, I think I may have a serious case of PMS so as much as my head wants to eat well, some part of me is screaming COOKIES and dark chocolate. Whatever. I'd try. I had some leftover grains and seaweed from my favorite macrobiotic meal at Souen the other day. But of course, I lapped up the extra dressing packed in my to go bag like a dog. So I did my best to re-create their Miso-Tahini yummy-ness the best I could. I knew of two ingredients in this recipe: Miso and tahini. The rest I made up as I went along. And I'll be damned if it didn't come out fabulously. So here it is (more or less!)

Magical Miso Tahini Dressing:

1/4 cup warm water
4 tsp. White Miso 
1/4 - 1/2 cup Tahini
1 tsp. Sesame Oil
Couple splashes Rice Wine Vinegar
Dash or two of Umeboshi Vinegar
1-2 tsp. Gomasio (I used the 'Black and Tan' Gomasio which contributed to the 'specks' in the dressing pictured left.)

As you can see, I drizzled my lovely creating over a bed of steamed kale, brown rye sticky rice (compliments of Souen!) and Hijiki seaweed (again, thank you Souen). Love in a dish. This dressing would also be great drizzled over some steamed broccoli or any other green so as not to taste too, well, 'green'. You don't need much and you do want to use sparingly due to a potentially high sodium content. Keep it lower by watching how much Umeboshi Vinegar you 'dash' in! (Of course, being the condiment queen, I use liberally. Oops.)
I settled onto the couch to enjoy my meal and decided to turn on the TV only to find the Hope For Haiti program running on all channels. (With the exception of Fox News, as my mother kindly pointed out. Ugh.) And I was all the more grateful for my tasty, nourishing meal. And like I did on my mat this evening, please, just show up. However you can for the people of Haiti. Whether it's a monetary donation or you have the time and the heart to donate time. Whatever you can do. There is also a program called Soles4Souls that is organizing local collection sites to help Haiti. And there is always your prayers and love. Those alone are a powerful healing agent in rebuilding the hope and spirit of those whose lives have been devastated by this terrible disaster. Love.

The biggest downside to having a boyfriend is undeniable weight gain. I swear, dudes can eat whatever they want, whenever they want and it doesn't affect them in the LEAST! I watch my love down burgers, pasta, bagels, whatever, and not put on a pound or feel a shred of guilt. Somehow, God removed the genes in men that make women feel AWFUL about anything they put in their mouth that is not green. I'm never 'jealous' when he eats this stuff in front of me, because for the most part, I don't crave or wish I was eating a piece of steak or a plate of gnocchi. 
But the sweets, I can't resist! I won't even be hungry and if they are in front of me, watch out. Which is why I don't keep 1 pound bags of peanut M&M's lying around or any other 'traps'! I'll eat dessert with the best of them, but if that stuff is in my fridge or cabinets I will fall prey to mindless eating, just as easily as the next woman.
So last night, I was left to fend for myself for dinner as BF (code for 'boyfriend', as he will from here on out be known) grabbed a bite with his friend uptown. Good. I don't have to pick off his plate and I'll make myself a nice healthy dinner and go to bed early in preparation for my BALLET BODY DVD PR shoot on Good Morning America Health! (Very excited by the way!) Post yoga, I picked up some roasted cauliflower and decided I'd eat that along with a few chips and hummus and roast the brussel sprouts I purchased earlier in the day at the Farmer's Market. Nice easy, healthy. All went according to plan until BF said at about 9:30pm, "I want something . . . mmmm. . . like a mint chocolate cupcake!" Great! I figured I'd lace up, go for a nice brisk fall evening post meal walk with him to seek out what he desired and return to finish up the night and head to bed. Well, if you've ever been around mid-town NYC at 10pm on a Monday night, you'd know it's not exactly the mecca of late night cupcake joints. With the exception of Buttercup Bakeshop, which closes promptly at 9pm. How convenient. 
So, with no 'specialty shops' in site or anyplace to get a somewhat 'healthy' cookie, me and the BF dropped into the abyss of Morton and Williams, which for those of you who don't live in the city, is a chain grocery store. And mind you the grocery stores in NYC are NOT like the one's in L.A. where organic produce is as prevalent as conventional or there is a separate organic or 'health food' section. Oh no. Real estate is not easy to come by in this town, thus the shelves are filled with what a majority of America demands, which is not an organic wheat free cookie from Nana's (one of my favorites by the way!) But from a distant I'll I heard the BF yell "They have the Coconut Milk Cookie Dough ice cream!" And you can imagine that it all went downhill from there. Shit. What were the odds?!? Seriously? I can resist a cupcake, I can resist those icky cookies you see sitting in a grocery store bakery at 11pm that have probably been sitting there for well over a week. But the Coconut Milk Cookie Dough ice cream? I didn't have a chance in hell. And who was I to deny a man of his right to dessert? I'd just say no when we get home. I can do that.
Apparently I can't. 11 o'clock and I'm scarfing a portion of the good stuff along with some caramel soy crisps. WHAT?!? Am I so weak I can't wait ONE NIGHT to do this? Knowing full well, I had a shoot for which I should be looking my most radiant healthy and joyous self?!? Instead, I lie in bed awake until 3am, most likely due to a sugar high. They call this stuff PURELY DECADENT for good reason. Although for me, it is a great alternative to dairy ice cream, made with coconut milk, no gluten and no soy, I would still not label it as 'good for you'. It's perfect on a hot summer night when you are dying for an ice cream. Not ideal at 11pm in the middle of November.
The morning is not going to be pretty I thought. And as my alarm jolted me out of a deep slumber and a peculiar dream, I realized I was right and cursed myself. I can't believe I let myself DO THAT. And now hours later, post GMA shoot, I still feel awful. Tired, bloated, heavy and anything BUT beautiful. So in order to purge myself of the guilt, the anger at my BF for purchasing the culprit of my misery, and my undeniable hostility toward food, I write my feelings here. I am tired, cranky, and yes, pissed off.  Hopefully enough to remind me the next time I reach for a pint of pure decadence, to pick up my pen and paper instead.  

Welcome to my new blog topic, Me, Not So Pretty. For the unforeseeable future, this blog will chronicle my obsession, healthy and frequently, not so healthy, with food, nutrition, and yes, my body. Often you hear me preach about loving your body the way it is and being in awe of what it does, no matter the shape size, blah blah blah. Well guess what? It's time to practice more of what I preach. I know this is ultimately the way to go, but it's hard to "love my body" when, quite frankly, my ass is chafing from jeans that were not so tight a month ago and I take them off only to find the side seems and waist band have made permanent indentations in my hips. More often than not, I am as self conscious and filled with insecurity as anyone else. 
I recently realized how much time, energy and brain power is sucked by contemplating what I'm going to eat, where, how, when, why, etc. Lately, I've felt like a contestant on the Biggest Loser, without the goal of losing weight. Which really makes it no fun. I get no cash and prizes at the end. It seems I try to reign in the one thing I have complete control over and am knowledgeable, and passionate about (that would be FOOD), when other areas of my life feel a little OUT of control, which they have lately. (Hmmm, does that smell something like an eating disorder? Nahhhhh . . . )
I've hid behind the precept that this is a 'healthy' obsession. "I'm using it to learn more and in turn, help others." Bullshit. Lately, it's been prohibitive, limiting my creativity, joy and potential for some really good times! Ok, yes, at times it definitely DOES help others.
So in an attempt to get out of my head, I've decided to tell you all about what goes through it. And while it my be cathartic for me, you may find yourself saying, "That's nice. But what the heck will I get out of this?"Well, it is my hopes you will find it somewhat comforting to know you are not alone in your own mad thoughts. You may even chuckle once or twice at how incredibly ridiculous my behavior can be. At the very least you'll get some great recipes and restaurant reviews, as my stories take me from my kitchen to dining around the town and the country when I travel place to place (oh, you'll really like those . . . traveling presents a whole other set of issues . . . )
It will be authentically me: the good, the bad, and the ugly. It will be me . . . . NOT So Pretty.

Well, as I predicted, this time around there would be not only a cleanse physically, but an emotional cleanse as well. Bingo. I shed many a tear yesterday but by the end of the day I felt a sense of relief and got to talk it out with one of my best friends whose known me since 2nd grade.  Needless to say by the end of the day I was exhausted.  As much as I wanted to climb into bed and fall asleep by ten, my computer sucked me in and I filled the last two hours of my evening catching up on some tasks I've been meaning to.
This morning, I feel great.  This cleanse is definitely easier than the first, and the second day doesn't seem to be presenting as big of a challenge as it did the first time around. I am also 'doing' less in terms of physical exertion. Tomorrow will be a more difficult test as I teach two high energy classes, but for now, I am content catching up on a lot of work that hasn't been urgent, but more forward thinking. Which I love. And I feel like I am cleaning out my system effectively. Have I cheated? Yes. I'll be the first to tell you that I had a bite of a raw bar yesterday morning, an English Breakfast tea with a little almond milk and a tablespoon of almond butter last night.  And this morning, I had the last remaining bite of that raw bar and some Early Grey tea. But I haven't had coffee and unlike yesterday, don't feel as if I need it today.  My goal is to rid my dependence to coffee in the morning, and hopefully, with some continued morning juicing habits, I'll be able to succeed. Thoughts, questions, ideas? Please comment! Would love to hear from you.

Day one of my second pass at this BLUE PRINT CLEANSE. I'm still not sure why I do this.  I guess part of it is the challenge. I am supposed to have juice only for three days straight. Today I am feeling particularly tired and needing some sort of 'kick'.  It's taking all the strength I can muster to type on this keyboard. I've slept over eight hours already and feel like I could go back to bed and sleep another three.  It is my hopes to kick the morning habit of coffee and assist my body to returning to it's natural functioning state.  To get back into the rhythms of life, so to speak.  I have a feeling this time around is going to involve more of an emotional cleanse.  I don't know why. I just feel it coming. Here goes . . . 
Stay tuned here and I'll keep you posted daily on my progress.  Or follow me on my Facebook Fan Page where I'll surely have some choice words about this cleanse!
BOTTOMS UP!

I am excited to announce my very first OPTIMAL HEALTH AND HEALING retreat will take place in Costa Rica in from August 15th - 22nd in Costa Rica at the beautiful Pura Vida Spa!  Make sure you check out the website above to get all the details. 

While I am thrilled to finally host my very own retreat in one of the most beautiful locations in the country, I must admit, such an undertaking can be a little nerve wrecking.  Getting caught up in the 'what if's?' "What if flights don't go smoothly?" "What if no one signs up?" And the biggest 'What If?' of all:  "What if I fail?" The preparation for something like this is daunting. Almost to the point where I've considered running the other way. 

But then the famous quote "Feel the fear and do it anyway" keeps coming back to me. I had to commit to this. Commit to the dates and moving forward with the planning or else I would always look back and regret I never did something I've always dreamed about. And it's scary. But now that I've written a blog about it and listed it on the website, it's official. I can't back down now, can I?

So check out the details of the retreat and join myself and Dr. Derek Abbassi for a week of sun, fun, relaxation, adventure, fitness, healing and total health.  At the very least, we'll all have a great vacation and hopefully you'll go home happy you came!