Yesterday was filled with many mixed emotions. I was conflicted. While I enjoyed sipping a way too strong Bloody Mary, I was equally inspired by the tenacity and will power over 40,000 people demonstrated as they neared the last few miles of the New York City Marathon. I prepared myself well in the morning so I wouldn't feel so guilty as I indulged and others suffered. I finished half of a small muffin from my favorite macrobiotic restaurant here in NYC, Souen, with my morning half caf latte. (It was a gluten free, no sugar . . . must have been agave or something, blueberry muffin with coconut shavings. SO GOOD!) I have been craving eggs lately, so around noon, I met my aunt at another one of my favorite places, Le Pain Quotidien. They are a chain, so you may have one nearby. The food is organic, fresh and amazing. If you can avoid the bread, pastry and Nutella floating around, you're good to go! I had an omelet (and no, I didn't freak out about egg whites. I felt I needed the nourishment that the yolks provided) with some asparagus and mushrooms, small side of mixed greens and half piece of whole grain bread with butter (oh so good). A nice meal to fend of the nasty bar food sure to stare me down later. I get in trouble when I get hungry so I was glad to have, for once, prepared myself appropriately.
From 50th St. and @2nd Ave. I crossed over to 1st Ave.to walk along side the runners that were galiantly striding up town. I was completely inspired. I wanted to jump over the fences and run along with them (although I'd probably only make it a mile). Sadly I was forced to stay within the confines of the sidewalk, trying to keep a brisk pace, which was a challenge. I had to bob and weave around slow passerbys and people casually strolling along. I had places to be, people to meet and energy to burn! Finally I made it to 75th and joined a group of friends already cheering the runners on. They began imbibing long before I and I was ready for my Bloody Mary.
I had prepared myself for this. I wasn't drinking on an empty stomach and although I hadn't officially worked out that morning, I walk at a pace faster than most people run, so I wasn't stressing. Plus on my way up town I must have been carrying an additional fifteen pounds I left with my aunt. That had to have burned some extra calories.
As the day ensued, so did the football games. We turned our attention inside the bar as the drinks kept coming. I, ever the picture of restraint, stuck with my one Bloody. Over the next two and a half hours or so, I think I may have had a few chips and a little bit of homemade guac. Nothing earth shattering. I was taking it easy and still feeling good. 
At about 4:30 or so, as it was beginning to get dark (so sad to see Daylight Savings disappear), a few of us were coerced to move on to another bar where a friend of a friend was celebrating his marathon finish. I could have taken or left it, but apparently, I was taking it. Besides the Packers/Vikings game had just begun and I would want to watch that at home anyway. Off we went. 
I felt as if I wanted a drink but not beer and not another Bloody. So I ended up with some lightly 'spiked' (with what I'm still not sure) apple cider. It was good but I was getting a little hungry as the 5 o'clock hour rolled around. What do I love more than anything when I'm in a good bar? Celery sticks and blue cheese. That's right. I can do without the wings. I just love that crisp watery crunch with some really good blue cheese dressing. And under any other circumstances, I don't even like blue cheese dressing. But I do in this case and, despite crazy looks from friends, that's exactly what I ordered. After this I was done for the day and I was going to go home and have a nice macrobiotic meal with some brown rice, spinach and whatever else I decided to concoct. 
My plain foiled when someone from the table afar dropped a basket of two mini burgers with tater tots in them. SERIOUSLY??? TATER TOTS??!!?? I haven't had those in forever, and I caved. Seeing as there were about five of us digging into the same basket, I probably only had a few. Ok, maybe five. Tops. Yes, with ketchup. Oh they were so good and reminded me of being six again. And then the bomb dropped. Basket of fresh warm fries incoming. WAIT!!! We didn't order these!!!  Screw it.  In went the hands .  .  . again several pairs of them. And not only did I dip in the ketchup, but also the blue cheese that was left over from the celery sticks. Damn, where were those celery sticks when you needed them the most? I was hoping everyone would gobble those warm, salty, crispy, fried sticks of goodness before I could get my paws on them, but to no avail. Shit. And you can't stop at one. And I had planned for the day SO well. You know what they say. "The best laid plans . . . " 
I wasn't happy with myself but as I tried to let it go, found myself even more upset about not working out in the morning. We left the bar before six and I vowed to just go home and have a light snack, especially since I felt ill. I couldn't imagine why?!?
The good news is I was inspired to eat and BE very healthy this week. I stopped by the Japanese store and bought an already halved kabocha squash. It is one of my favorite fall vegetables and is so good simply baked in a small baking dish placed in a small amount of water, face up at 400* for about an hour. It's high in beta carotene, iron, Vitamin C, and potassium. My french fry guilt also forced me to prepare and experiment with one of my own dressings, a Tahini-Garlic dressing, so I knew exactly what I was putting in my mouth. Here is my make-shift recipe. Any of you that know how I cook know that I am not huge on measuring, but try this:

1/3 Cup Tahini (roasted or raw)
2 cloves garlic (you can use less or roast for a milder flavor, but I do love me some garlic)
3 tbsp. (give or take) of EV olive oil (do yourself a favor and use the good kind!)
About 12 squirts of Bragg's Liquid Amino Acids (kind of like soy sauce, but less sodium and still adds salty flavor. you want to do this to taste)
Juice of about 1 lemon (told you I'm scientific)
1/4 cup water and as needed to blend

Add all liquid ingredients in a blender then add garlic and pulse a few times. Add in tahini and blend away. Again you may need a little more or less of the liquid ingredients to suit your taste and for desired consistency. 

After a small dinner of a little brown rice, some steamed spinach and a few pieces of my piping squash with my AMAZINGLY good dressing over it, I decided it was time to take a walk. I was getting anxious and feeling warm from cooking in the kitchen. I knew the crisp fall evening air was going to feel great. And it did. And the brisk walk was invigorating. I sailed over to the West Village with my iPod, thinking of all those who ran earlier. This was the least I could do. I returned home an hour later, exhausted and ready for bed. I didn't need to run a marathon. I just needed a walk. To let go of the guilt from a day of small indulgences. I had found my balance. A walk and a few french fries complement each other nicely, don't you think?