Welcome to my new blog topic, Me, Not So Pretty. For the unforeseeable future, this blog will chronicle my obsession, healthy and frequently, not so healthy, with food, nutrition, and yes, my body. Often you hear me preach about loving your body the way it is and being in awe of what it does, no matter the shape size, blah blah blah. Well guess what? It's time to practice more of what I preach. I know this is ultimately the way to go, but it's hard to "love my body" when, quite frankly, my ass is chafing from jeans that were not so tight a month ago and I take them off only to find the side seems and waist band have made permanent indentations in my hips. More often than not, I am as self conscious and filled with insecurity as anyone else. 
I recently realized how much time, energy and brain power is sucked by contemplating what I'm going to eat, where, how, when, why, etc. Lately, I've felt like a contestant on the Biggest Loser, without the goal of losing weight. Which really makes it no fun. I get no cash and prizes at the end. It seems I try to reign in the one thing I have complete control over and am knowledgeable, and passionate about (that would be FOOD), when other areas of my life feel a little OUT of control, which they have lately. (Hmmm, does that smell something like an eating disorder? Nahhhhh . . . )
I've hid behind the precept that this is a 'healthy' obsession. "I'm using it to learn more and in turn, help others." Bullshit. Lately, it's been prohibitive, limiting my creativity, joy and potential for some really good times! Ok, yes, at times it definitely DOES help others.
So in an attempt to get out of my head, I've decided to tell you all about what goes through it. And while it my be cathartic for me, you may find yourself saying, "That's nice. But what the heck will I get out of this?"Well, it is my hopes you will find it somewhat comforting to know you are not alone in your own mad thoughts. You may even chuckle once or twice at how incredibly ridiculous my behavior can be. At the very least you'll get some great recipes and restaurant reviews, as my stories take me from my kitchen to dining around the town and the country when I travel place to place (oh, you'll really like those . . . traveling presents a whole other set of issues . . . )
It will be authentically me: the good, the bad, and the ugly. It will be me . . . . NOT So Pretty.