What a weekend. My eyes were like waterworks and I could never be sure when the tears were going to start. It was so unexpected, because my Friday started out pretty kick ass. It was a beautiful day here in NYC. Sunny, breezy, warm. Perfect Spring has sprung type of weather. After some PR photos with my gal Kelsey from CRUNCH for an upcoming workout in SELF Magazine, we decided to wander over to the best "fast food" place on earth, Pret a Manger. Or as New Yorker's would call it, simply "Pret". Now before you get up in arms at the words "fast food" check out their website. This stuff is FRESH as it gets in a box. No soggy lettuce or wet bread. Ick. Nothing fried or even grilled. Fresh baked whole wheat breads, wraps and salads makes this place a standout and NYC fave. Kelsey and I decided to try the Salmon and Brown Rice Salad which seemed very similar to the brown rice bowls I love to make at home. I was skeptical about the whole salmon part, but I shouldn't have been. This thing ROCKED and has a healthy balance of wholesome unrefined carbohydrates (brown rice), protein (salmon and edamame), fresh veggies (cucumber and red cabbage) and healthy fats (let's hear it for the omega-3's in salmon!). My new fave. The only thing missing for me was avocado! So we also split an Avocado and Parmesan sandwich as well. Not QUITE as healthy, but damn it was good. I've been in love with my avocados lately and using them in a simple salad I've been loving all weekend. To be honest, if you've read my Facebook posts recently, I've been downing desserts like it was the fourth meal of the day. I felt the need to clean up my act a little bit, nutritionally speaking. Here's the Detox Salad I've made for dinner two nights in a row:

Detox Salad:

Toss all ingredients in large salad bowl, drizzle with EVOO and a few dashes of Balsamic Vinegar, squeeze the lemon on there, add a little S&P and mix well so the avocado mixed with the liquid gives it a nice creamy "dressing" like texture. Simple, fresh and YUMMY.

Ok, back to the weekend. I continued to bask in the sunshine of the day on Friday walking all the way down to the Village, making pit stops at BB&Beyond (my new home away from home as I begin remodeling this apartment in NYC!) and Lohemann's (I really need to get back to work at some point. I don't even like to shop and I'm shopping.) Decided I would get a workout in and popped into Equinox a little before 5pm. At this point, my day was still fantastic. I received a dose of inspiration and surge of energy on the treadmill so decided to hop into the open studio and start working on choreography for my dance class on Sunday. It came pouring out of me like water out of a faucet. I love those routines that just seem to find their own steps. I left the gym with a good foundation for the routine and still chipper and happy. Somewhere between the subway home and midnight, my mood shifted. Unexpectedly, unpredictably. I came home just worn out and exhausted and had a late conference call at 7pm with the west coast. Again, all good there too. No reason for this sudden turn. I was scheduled to go on a date to see a documentary film, and just couldn't get excited. But I was committed and really did want to see the film about choreographer and dance pioneer, Anna Halprin, Breath Made Visible. I begrudingly dragged my ass in the shower but felt rushed and annoyed as I hustled to make the 9pm viewing. We had to wait in line for the previous viewing to finish and I could barely stand. I was becoming crankier by the minute and I felt awful for my date. I was no sort of good company tonight. Finally, we entered the theater and after an introduction by Anna herself, the movie began. I was not prepared for the emotions that this film stirred in me. Anna Halprin was not your typical ballerina. Nor was she a traditional modern dance choreographer. This woman felt EVERYTHING. And now revisiting the website, I can tell the musical score had a lot to do with the emotional stirrings in my body. Not to mention Anna and her husband, landscape architect, Larry Halprin's lovely relationship which is a true testament to what it means to be a life partner in love and friendship. Everything about this film is inspiring and beautiful. Even when it touches upon some ugly topics, such as Anna's cancer.  The woman basically healed herself through dance. I sat in awe of this woman who never compromised her expression or her movement. Nor apologized for it. If we all could be so daring in the exploration of our emotions, no matter what form we choose. It was quite simply, beautiful. While I did cry, I was holding back what would surely have been an embarrassing and uncomfortable situation for my date. I needed a much bigger release. Yet, after the film, I suggested we go somewhere for dessert. Seriously? At 11pm? Why? Was I avoiding going home and dealing with the emotions that were bubbling up inside of me? Wanting to shove them down with sweets? Probably, yes. Although the dessert was yummy, I was disconnected and didn't enjoy it, nor my company, as much as I should have. I went home only to receive a large package that unlocked the dam holding back the flood of tears that began to run down my face. What began as a beautiful day turned into quite frankly, a wet mess. I finally cried enough to drain myself of any energy and fell into a not so peaceful sleep of unpleasant dreams. And awoke with what I like to call a 'crying hangover'. Saturday felt very lethargic for me, and while it was a beautiful day outside, I stayed inside as the tears continued to pour on and off like a dripping faucet. I threw myself into the many home chores I needed to do, trying to keep myself busy and occupied. I finally decided it was time to get outside, tears or no tears, for a walk. My first stop was an attempt to make my body feel better after my late night sugar rush. Liquiteria. Some of the best darn juices in the city. A little more shopping (am I detecting a pattern here?) and walking around the city. I shunned any social offers to return home, clean up and make my Detox Salad above. I was going to be nice to myself, read and watch another documentary, Food Inc. I know it's been a phenomenon for about a year now, but I was just getting around to watch it. While nothing in the film totally surprised me, it is a MUST see for anyone who wants to know more about where a majority of our food is coming from these days. Please watch the trailer here.  Again, another very powerful and inspiring film about one of my other passions . . . . FOOD.  And a great motivation to change the way this country's agricultural system operates. I could go on and on about this topic, but I'll save that for another day. I collapsed once again to bed with a more restful night of sleep. 
Since I feel like I am dragging on and on in this blog, I'll finish it similar to how I finished last week's blog. With a story of how dance continually saves me. I was still not feeling 100% Sunday morning, but the rain gave me an excuse to stay inside, rest, and finish my choreography to a song that has always, and continues to, move me. Breathe, by Anna Nalick. I poured my heart and soul into teaching that routine last night (thank you to all who shared their passion and energy with me yesterday afternoon at Equinox in Columbus Circle. You saved my weekend!) and as always, felt so much better for it. I'm not going to lie, I felt very alone and very sad this weekend. But looking back, it's something I needed. Time to process, time to release, and time to cry. We all need that every now and then to come out bright and shiny on the other side.